Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 1: You Said It Would Start to Burn When the Cold Wind Blows
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TL: FoodieMonster007
On the evening of February 19th, spArk's 5th-anniversary live stream kicked off spectacularly. This was not an exaggeration. The flower and balloon arrangement was so luxurious it looked like a hotel proposal company had decorated the set.
I wonder if I've hung a rather unsightly banner against such a gorgeous backdrop…
I felt a little awkward. A winter spArk cool-tone no-cloud-sky-blue banner hung amidst all the orange-themed decorations. Could I really show such a mismatch to the Sparkler fans?
"It's the thought that counts."
"That just means it isn't beautiful, doesn't it, Kiyeon."
"Can't the beautiful thought make up for it?"
"Our Cheonghyeon, where did you learn such social skills?"
I marveled at his advanced conversational skills, unable to tell if he was teasing me or trying to comfort me. His school must have a required course called 'Introduction to Social Linguistics'.
The chat also endlessly celebrated the 5th anniversary. Occasional comments praised the banner and the pretty background.
≫ Today's outfits are Cheonghyeon-core
Someone even guessed the outfit concept right away. Today was the 5th anniversary, so we unified our outfits with our fifth member's personal style. This became a tradition after our 1st anniversary live stream, where we unintentionally ended up in suits, my personal style. Each year, we wore clothes matching the taste of the member corresponding to the anniversary number.
≫ Jeho, hurry up and apologize to Iwol
Iwol spent thirty minutes explaining that Choi Jeho's personal style was a lost cause. Since his brand endorsement was sportswear unsuitable for an anniversary, they inevitably became the orange knit squad.
└ They tried matching personal colors and brought every shade of orange imaginable, but five seconds into the live stream, people called them orange containers ㅋㅋㅋ
└ The fact that they were called containers and not cardboard boxes shows how sturdy our boys look.
└ The fruit is big and ripe, it's a bountiful harvest.
≫ Looking at Mr. Jeong Seongjun's personal fashion, it's clear his mother didn't dress him like this, so where on earth did Seongbin's taste come from?
└ If you're going to dress like that, just take it off. (This isn't a shameless request to see your muscles, it's a desperate plea for you to please try a new fashion style.)
└ I didn't notice when it was just one person, but seeing all six of them like this is making me dizzy.
└└Massive failure to blend in
└ So when is Mr. Jeong Seongjun making an Insta?? He'd become an influencer just by posting his ootd.
└ I guess he's surprisingly not interested in that.
└ He's not even a celebrity, but I've never seen someone with such a talent for driving people crazy.
≫ Park Joowoo, you sing well, cook well, and dress well.
If you keep living like this, you'll have to be inducted into the spArk personal style Hall of Fame.
└ The 4th anniversary was such a good thing…
└ Each item is like 80s Britain, but together, it becomes a new generation that caught the returning trend ㅋㅋ But it's not completely retro either.
└ A man who knows how to stylishly match classic items? I like it.
└ It wouldn't have the same vibe if Joowoo wore Seongbin's plaid shirt.
└└Wouldn't even Joowoo have struggled with that shirt?
└└└Seongbin's going to cry
So much had happened over these not-so-short years. About half of it was hardship and adversity. We agonized fiercely over whether to give our fans a laugh or a stylish hair, makeup, and coordination.
During Choi Jeho's and Jeong Seongbin's turns, it was a struggle just to preserve their identities while compromising with reality.
Until the very end, I worried that I was showing our fans unappealing outfits in the name of fun. If spArk was only full of fashionistas, I wouldn't have had to worry about such things.
In any case, today's wardrobe master was Lee Cheonghyeon, so we walked a flower path. We chose his stylish airport fashion over his casual wear to differentiate from the 4th anniversary. The understated coordination of high-end items received rave reviews in the chat.
≫ Today's outfits are legendary
They're like high-class flames crafted stitch by stitch from glass art.
≫ spArk is collectively serving chaebol son vibes? I'm dead
≫ I wish every day was the 5th anniversary
I thought they looked great too. Jeong Seongbin, who already had a natural grace, looked like the grown-up heir to a wealthy family.
I was right to insist on putting a watch with a thick band on the tidy man. It makes a person look appropriately weighty and cultured, you know.
Park Joowoo was styled in a free-spirited way, the opposite of Jeong Seongbin. One of his shirt buttons was unbuttoned and his bangs were slicked back coolly. He even endured the cold touch of a metal watch. After rolling up his sleeves slightly, he became a perfect fashion magazine model.
Kang Kiyeon's look received the best reviews from the stylists. His personal taste was far from classic or formal, but it suited him well.
However, as someone born with a 'golden skeleton', Kang Kiyeon pulled off the opposite style with a fantastic fit. The pants line was the best I had ever seen. I seriously considered making him do the live stream standing up, but everyone shot down the idea.
Lee Cheonghyeon, the owner of the fashion, was perfect. Full makeup on top of his flawless personal style made him a walking work of art. We could have held an art fair on the set. My biggest regret of the year was that we couldn't add a coat for the indoor live stream.
I genuinely applauded when Choi Jeho got a perm and took off the cutting cape. I had to praise his remarkably improved appearance. He looked good enough to make his mother proud of raising him on only the best food. I took thirty full-body shots and told him to send them to his mother after the live stream.
I wore a thin, collared knit over a turtleneck. Thanks to the layering and relaxed fit, I looked gentler than usual. I once said I wanted to try Lee Cheonghyeon's style, and now I had actually done it.
Riding the momentum, I let my bangs down. I even changed the corners of my eyes. It wasn't a complete 180-degree change, but I successfully gave a different impression for the anniversary.
The first topic of conversation with our refreshed outfits was about first impressions versus current impressions. The intro and recent updates were like the opening remarks in an official program, so I didn't include them in the main event.
The topic of first impressions had come up briefly on various broadcasts. It was a classic story other members had touched on in places like BubblePop. At our 1st-anniversary fan meeting, we even discussed which member's image had changed the most since our debut.
However, I was the only one who had shared my first and current impressions of all the members. Since the period from our trainee days to now held a much richer narrative, we decided to lay it all out.
"Iwol, you've talked about this on a live stream before, right?"
Jeong Seongbin then dragged over a double-sided whiteboard. A large chart was drawn on the back, which had been left blank for the broadcast. When the guys saw Choi Jeho's current impression listed as 'log', they didn't even try to hold back their laughter and just cackled.
"I'm just asking, but are you going to update Jeho's current impression?"
"I'll update it to African Blackwood. I considered its rarity and hardness."
"Thanks."
Choi Jeho sneered.
You just don't know. If you knew how expensive African Blackwood is, you'd be moved by my goodwill.
Anyway, his personal color can't seem to escape the sweltering southern countries. He's a disgrace to the Northern Archdukes group.
Jeong Seongbin's remained 'Archangel'. Park Joowoo's changed from avocado to coconut. It used to be 'soft on the outside, hard on the inside'. Now that he was taller and more muscular, it became 'hard on the outside'.
I think it suits him quite well. Once you break through the shell, he just pours out talk about rock music.
"I should change Cheonghyeon's too."
"Why? Did I get eliminated from the best-looking man contest?!"
"Change it to 'Source of Light'."
"That's what I'm talking about. I knew I could count on you."
Park Joowoo, who was updating the chart, asked, "How much should I put per unit area…?" He kindly offered to add a footnote.
"2.3 million won."
"Really?!"
The guys' jaws dropped.
Are you surprised? I'm surprised too. Seeing the demand pour in like this, it seems people in this world really do love shiny things.
Kang Kiyeon grumbled, displeased with 'rambutan'. He said it looked grotesque. Actively reflecting his complaint, I found a substitute.
"How about a Blue Umbrella Jellyfish? Unlike a rambutan, it's a cool tone."
Lee Cheonghyeon, who knew what the jellyfish looked like, burst into laughter as soon as I spoke. Kang Kiyeon sensed something ominous and asked the staff for an image. After seeing the picture, Kang Kiyeon was enraged.
"What is this! And it's poisonous!"
"It wouldn't make sense to describe your current impression without mentioning your spicy personality."
"Aren't there any more idol-like candidates?" Kang Kiyeon asked in despair.
"Isn't a jellyfish suitable for an idol? It's much cuter compared to a tired eagle or a sluggish bear-snake."
In any case, since he didn't like it, we compromised on a non-venomous and cute wildcat.
"In that case, what are the members' first and current impressions of Iwol?"
At Jeong Seongbin's words, eyes glinted from all around. Everyone was dying to get a word in. It was just like that day early in our debut when Kang Kiyeon fiercely attacked me, calling me a 'dignified brute'.
Back then, we were introducing each other, so only one person scolded me. Now, everyone had a chance to speak. I had no choice but to pass the microphone in order of age for a smooth progression.
"First impression…? A savage beanpole."
"Jeho, it's our 5th anniversary."
"Now? A walkie-talkie that never turns off."
"I said, it's our 5th anniversary."
This brat mercilessly tore down his colleague without a care, even during a thank-you event. I was instantly reduced to rags.
I asked with a glimmer of hope, "Is your opinion the same? If so, let's just skip the repetitive parts." They all avoided my gaze. Their whistleblowing spirits were truly thorough.
"I told you before. When I first saw you, I thought you were a director."
"How about now, Cheonghyeon?"
"A great-uncle who comes over for the holidays, nags a lot, and gives you 200,000 won for pocket money."
"That's a change that seems like it would be difficult even in reincarnation."
Park Joowoo, who steadfastly guarded the front of the whiteboard, added, "You were really, really scary…"
Please stop saying I was scary! Anyone would think I couldn't control my expression from day one as a trainee!
"Now, I think you're a really, really weird but good guy…"
It was unfair, but I couldn't jump up and down in front of the camera. Besides, despite the unpleasant modifier, he did say 'good guy'. Going from a scary person to a good guy was practically a triumph of the human spirit.
≫ Just what was the atmosphere like on the day Iwol joined the companyㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Jeong Seongbin meticulously read the chat and laughed awkwardly. "Well, about that…"