SS Chapter 3: 5th Anniversary Live (2)

TL: FoodieMonster007

The attached photo came from our original content. The outfits showed it was from our 『MISSION』 era, when we won our first music show. A caption in an ominous font sat right below my face, which was centered on the screen.

『Iwol : Have you all signed up for a housing subscription?』

Half the photo was just text. It looked like someone had gathered all the captions and pasted them at the bottom.

『Iwol : Most of you should have indemnity insurance, but check just in case. If you don't, sign up for it now.』

『Iwol : The interest rates for savings and deposits aren't bad right now, you know? If you don't have any big expenses coming up, open a savings account.』

『Iwol : Do you guys have a parking account? Can minors not get one? If not, Jeho, you should at least get one.』

My past self, who had gone crazy over our earnings, was unearthed for all to see. The surrounding comments were especially prominent.

≫ Ah, my ears are ringing, lolololol

≫ I definitely signed up for the cool-faced, handsome eldest Hyung, but I got a nagging tyrant by mistake.

≫ I thought he was the cool beauty type. Who knew he'd breathe fire from his mouth like a torch?

But what's weird is his tone is so calm… his expression is so peaceful…

≫ He's not even an experienced idol. Where did this rookie chug a gallon of real-world experience from? lol

≫ I change my credit card company for my idol, so what's so hard about opening a parking account? OK OK, this noona is going to open an account right now.

≫ It's cheating for you to act like this when you look like you wouldn't be this kind of character.

The comments mostly complained about being deceived by the packaging and receiving a fraudulent product.

≫ What's with his personality?

He was supposed to be the mature eldest Hyung, no matter how you looked at it.

└ He is mature, in a certain sense.

└ That's not what we mean, friend. We're not talking about being parental.

It seems my first impression wasn't so bad. Back then, I was too busy collecting comments about 'Awkward Kim Iwol' to realize there were positive reactions too.

Kang Kiyeon turned the page, revealing a picture of a post titled 'The Somewhat Strange Idol, Iwol'. The image was so digitally weathered you could tell it had circulated online for a long time.

≫ The Somewhat Strange Idol, Iwol

This guy's name is Kim Iwol. He's the eldest member of the fresh new group spArk, who debuted last month. As you can see, he's the classy, cool-beauty type. 183cm tall. A young master who's confident in his hands. A real big brother who even ties his younger members' neckties, but his favorite thing is pear and bellflower root tea, and even that, he's trying to switch to plain water because he's worried it'll stain his teeth. Graduated from a regular high school with a really ugly uniform. Possesses the easygoing nature to eat jjolmyeon for over ten days straight without getting sick of it. His choice of vocabulary hints at his intelligence, but if things don't go his way, he threatens to lie down on the practice room floor. Surprising point: Seeing how the other members get scared, there's a high chance he'll actually do it.

└ His physique is that of a young master, but why is his inner self a salaryman? lololol

It was a masterpiece that perfectly summarized my debut days. My character traits, all gathered in one shot, were as jumbled as a fern jjamppong.

The spArk guys burst out laughing at the perfect Kim Iwol manual the comments had created. It was a tragedy they called me salaryman when Choi Jeho was on the team.

Still, it wasn't all sad, because the other members' debut images were just as powerful. When the part about '~The Door-Sized Man Here to Discipline the Idol Scene, Center Emperor Choi Jeho~' came up, more than half of them exploded from their chairs like firecrackers and rolled on the floor.

"You did, pfft, discipline them hard, Hyung. It just, keuk, wasn't the idol scene."

Lee Cheonghyeon laughed so hard he choked. Of course it was hilarious. The team's center, who had carried all the idol scene's expectations, came back after disciplining a deserted island.

"Jeho was mentioned as a representative of the stoic, sharp-featured handsome men, you know. Right?"

"I still think that's true…!"

Park Joowoo replied innocently to Jeong Seongbin. What on earth did that bastard Choi Jeho do to win over Park Joowoo and make him such a loyal subject? It was a strange thing.

"By today's standards, wouldn't it be something like 'The Center Emperor Who's Good at His Main Job but Genuinely Strange Otherwise'?"

"You're kind, Kiyeon. At least you still count him as a Center Emperor."

Lee Cheonghyeon wiped away a tear. It was even funnier because Choi Jeho, the person in question, remained so calm.

Jeong Seongbin's part was short and powerful.

≫ It's only been a month since I got to know Seongbin, but I feel like I know how great your passion for music is, how seriously you take being an idol, and what kind of person you are. I'll support you, who wants to be nothing but sincere with your fans. A post written when they first became a fan, drawn in by the kind and honest side of debut-era Jeong Seongbin, and…

≫ 48 months into knowing Jeong Seongbin I have no idea what kind of person you are… A post from four years later, with all sorts of memes of Jeong Seongbin attached, followed right after. 'Shocking. An Idol Who Becomes More Incomprehensible the Longer You Watch Him Actually Exists!' It was a real-life version of that. Faced with the dynamic memes, Jeong Seongbin couldn't lift his head.

Park Joowoo was in a better situation. The views on the guy, who was already famous for his chilly vibe, were merely split between the 'Our Joowoo is a large rodent' faction and the 'Our Joowoo is the scariest in spArk' faction. He firmly maintained his core identity as a master vocalist who could tear speakers apart with his voice.

"I thought Park Joowoo was the really unique one."

"Hyung…?"

Park Joowoo's eyes widened, betrayed by the Choi Jeho he trusted. Fortunately, Choi Jeho didn't start a member-bashing session on camera on this good day. The opening was just a shocking but heartwarming story about his extraordinary love and skill for singing. I clapped for them and hoped their friendship would last forever.

Lee Cheonghyeon, who had made a name for himself with a 'young master' role even more pronounced than mine, couldn't be left out. The only difference was the style. Like me, his mouth never rested, and Lee Cheonghyeon, who was more skilled in aristocratic speech than I was, confused fans and Muggles alike with his cursed mouth.

≫ If our Cheonghyeon went to a tea party in a ro-fan world, he would have taken over the world with his political maneuvering.

└ And Sparkler would have been too scared to go to the tea party, even if Cheonghyeon hosted it…

His personality also played a part. He delivered heavy truths with the face of a delicate coral. The guy was both an emotional creator and a science student to the bone. I guess that's what turned Lee Cheonghyeon's image into a human 'Ripley's Believe It or Not!'.

The evaluation of Kang Kiyeon changed in the complete opposite direction of Lee Cheonghyeon's. Kang Kiyeon, who had given off a hard-to-approach impression with his sharp looks and tendency to fixate on one thing, became known over the years as 'Our Giyeon may look like this, but he's a warm-hearted kid'. Choi Jeho also chimed in on this part.

"I never thought Kang Kiyeon would have this kind of personality either."

He meant that since Kiyeon was a guy who acted according to principles, he thought Kiyeon would accept it if he was told the right thing. I could understand why he had relentlessly thrown facts at Kang Kiyeon during their trainee days. Still, you shouldn't have done that, you bastard.

"Giyeon is so delicate, and affectionate. Giyeon gets attached to all objects, not just merch."

In fact, Kang Kiyeon's closet contained several pieces of clothing he had worn for a long time. He also took good care of his things.

The tops of his comic books were dust-free, and he never ruined clothes by washing them incorrectly.

This guy even took and used the bed I used to have. He said it was fine because Lee Cheonghyeon had neatly peeled off the waste disposal sticker. He seemed to want a custom-made bed now that he'd grown a bit taller, so I let him have it.

His actions, like moving stickers from fan letter envelopes to his phone case and collecting and reusing wrapping paper from members' birthday gifts, were unexpectedly sly for someone who looked like him and became widely known as his reverse charm.

"We might be too dry as colleagues to satisfy Giyeon's sensitivity."

"I guess so…"

Jeong Seongbin and Park Joowoo suddenly switched to self-reflection mode.

Kang Kiyeon will be more than satisfied with you guys.

Of course. I think you're 100 times better than Dolswe and a log.

Since we were on the topic of the old days, we moved on to the graduation photo reveal. We called it content, but it was just us looking at long-circulated internet photos together on camera.

Still, providing a space for the fans to see them was important. We prepared the content diligently as a sign of gratitude to those who helped us reach our 5th anniversary.

"We're going to show each member's graduation photo on the screen. The order will be from 6th place in 'The Most Shocking Graduation Photos as Picked by Our Managers'."

"They even did a poll like that?"

"There are two managers. How could the rankings be that divided?"

I asked in surprise. They said the two managers had a heated debate. When Jeong Seongbin shouted to show 6th place, Kang Kiyeon's photo appeared.

He read the reason. "Here's the reason. 'Because he looks exactly the same as now'."

"Blueberry Kiyeon is a classic. Just look at that smile he tried so hard to make."

Lee Cheonghyeon gently roasted his friend. The unripe Blueberry Kiyeon (a term fans use for his high school entrance photo) and the ripe Blueberry Kiyeon (this is his graduation photo) were on par with a photoshoot.

There was such a long saga behind this one photo! Kang Kiyeon, who had almost left behind a 'once-in-a-lifetime Northern Archdukes shot in the world of arts high school ID photos', succeeded in creating a masterpiece that surpassed his own past through indomitable effort.

However, I wasn't sure if he was exactly the same as now. The current Kang Kiyeon was twice as scary. The person in the photo was a younger boyfriend who knew how to give a sweet smile, but the one here was a young boss watching someone be burned at the stake. At this point, it wouldn't be strange if people called it false advertising.

The 5th place photo appeared. I didn't know if the managers' discussion was lacking or if the other candidates were just that much stronger. The subject, third-year middle schooler Park Joowoo, looked more tough than young.

"Still, isn't Park Joowoo less shocking than Kang Kiyeon?"

When Choi Jeho objected, Jeong Seongbin kindly recited the reason.

"'I always agreed when Iwol said Joowoo was gentle, but then I compared him to my middle schooler nephew and realized that wasn't the case.' That's what it says."

"Chanyoung…!"

Manager Chanyoung, standing beyond the camera, hid behind Manager Daeyeon. I prayed for their swift reconciliation.

4th place went to Jeong Seongbin. This entry was a little special. Unlike the previous two, it wasn't an ID photo in a school uniform showing only his face, but a half-body shot.

Jeong Seongbin struck an edgy pose in a lush flowerbed. It was the kind of pose you felt you should imitate in the mirror when you were in a bad mood.

Lee Cheonghyeon, who had been laughing the whole time, now rolled with laughter. Jeong Seongbin's ears turned bright red. Kang Kiyeon took the script from the leader, who couldn't lift his head.

"The reason for selection is very simple. 'The model student leader's unexpected past'."

"It is a big twist."

At my words, Park Joowoo patted Jeong Seongbin's shoulder and stared into the air. He was obviously struggling to suppress a smile.

"This is Jeong Seongbin's graduation photo? Not his younger brother's?"

Choi Jeho, who had been staring intently at the screen, tilted his head.

"Why do I remember a different one? It was a very demurely taken photo."

A puzzled Choi Jeho listened as Jeong Seongbin answered through gritted teeth.

"That… wasn't me."

"……"

"That's Jeong Seongjun's photo…"

Jeong Seongbin buried his face in his hands as if he were about to cry.

"My friends egged me on, saying that if I was going to be an idol, I had to take a special graduation photo, so I had no choice! But Jeong Seongjun took a proper one, so that's why! There are even comments online asking if our photos got switched, but this one is really me!"

"Okay, okay, just breathe and talk…"

Only after even Choi Jeho soothed him could Jeong Seongbin lift his flushed face. The kid was a wreck over one photo. Lee Cheonghyeon, who had been snickering while watching Jeong Seongbin catch his breath, suddenly froze as if buffering, then muttered in an anxious voice.

"This masterpiece is only 4th place?"

A look of shared danger passed between me and Lee Cheonghyeon. Only Choi Jeho remained blissfully calm.