Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 10: A Story of Lee Cheonghyeon and Kang Kiyeon's Past
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TL: FoodieMonster007
"Whoa, it's cold…!"
Lee Cheonghyeon shivered. A puff of white breath escaped his mouth. The January dawn was still chilly. The sun had not fully risen, and a biting wind blew. It felt no different from night.
"It'll be a while before the weather warms up."
Kang Kiyeon zipped up his padded jacket. The cold stung his face even though he was bundled up. He stared blankly at his friend stomping his feet, then spoke.
"…Let's just go back inside today."
"Huh? Why?"
Kang Kiyeon avoided Lee Cheonghyeon's question.
Walking around the neighborhood every morning on the day of the monthly evaluation had become their routine for quite some time. He would have to count to know how many years ago it started.
On evaluation days, a suffocating tightness gripped him the moment he woke up, like indigestion. His face would turn pale and his hands would tremble. The slightest movement soaked his back in a cold sweat.
If asked if he was naturally like this, he could say no. Since his kindergarten talent show, people had told Kang Kiyeon he seemed like a natural on stage. He had not even been nervous during his first recital at the dance academy.
He had made mistakes on stages before, but his family was far too proud of him for him to lose heart over a few errors. They were proud every time he improved.
Drawing motivation from their praise, Kang Kiyeon soared with each passing year. At least, he did until he was old enough to realize that arts and physical education cost a lot of money.
He learned the weight of the numbers on receipts around the time he entered middle school. The gap between a regular elementary school and an arts middle school was huge. Every kid was picked up by a car. Students in the next class carried instruments that cost as much as a car.
Although their financial situations were vastly different, Kang Kiyeon continued dancing. He also pursued his trainee life, which he started impulsively, without quitting. He thought he just had to handle everything. Since he earned good grades, he believed he was doing well and envisioned a future where he could just keep living this way.
He never heard any complaints at home. The adults did not say things were hard in front of their son. They did not bring up money. They certainly did not plead that he must succeed because they had invested so much.
However, he could not pretend he did not know just because they never said anything. Kang Kiyeon was too upright to let it slide. He was not so indifferent that he would not notice his dad coming home later and his mom working on weekends, nor was he shameless enough to ignore it.
I have to do well. I must produce results. Because Mom and Dad are supporting me so completely.
The reason there was no pressure about my performance was because I had done well so far. I don't know what will happen from now on.
If I don't want to make my family suffer, I have to do my best. I need to establish myself quickly so I won't be a burden anymore.
If I truly love Mom and Dad, I can't fail.
Kang Kiyeon realized reality a little later than others. Thanks to that, he enjoyed himself for longer. In return, he felt an even greater pressure. It might have been different if he had considered his family's situation earlier and given up, but he had come too far to turn back. His parents were already getting older. The time for Kang Kiyeon to show results was approaching.
To a talented individual, competition was not scary. He would see someone better and think they were cool, but he never felt an insurmountable gap or became frustrated. Impatience was a foreign feeling. All of this was now a story of the past.
Now, Kang Kiyeon feared competition. With so many people better than him, his insignificant self seemed hopeless. Before he could overcome his frustration, he had to stand on the evaluation stage once again. Every day filled him with anxiety.
Yet, he found his own inability to leave the stage pathetic. He still loved dancing too much to step down. This pain was a burden he had to bear for his stubbornness. No matter how agonizing, it was something he had brought upon himself. Others could not solve it for him, nor did they have any reason to listen.
"Are you really going back in? If we don't walk now, we won't have time today!"
And the friend I dragged into this.
"It's cold."
Kang Kiyeon sighed. The temperature was below freezing. Dragging his friend out just to ease his own tension felt terrible.
Even though Lee Cheonghyeon had changed his entire career path because of someone else's persuasion, he never laughed at or looked down on Kang Kiyeon for struggling at every crucial moment. Despite his family's considerable opposition, he was always full of life. He seemed to enjoy this time, just like the Kang Kiyeon of the past.
"We'll warm up if we walk."
Lee Cheonghyeon stepped onto the sidewalk. He had done the same thing the day he found Kang Kiyeon in a bathroom stall with his face buried in his hands. He had immediately grabbed his friend's hand and rushed out of the company. That day, the two of them walked until their legs ached.
After that, a walk was added to their morning schedule on test days. They never skipped it, even in snow or rain. They would bundle up and wander around, whether it was cold or hot. During the school semester, they had to wake up much earlier, but Lee Cheonghyeon got up at the crack of dawn without a single complaint.
The two often wandered outside even when it was not an evaluation day. They had been caught and scolded before, but after earnestly explaining their situation, they got permission to go out as long as they did not go far.
His palms were still damp. When his turn came, he could not perform to his full potential. Even after seeing this lack of progress, Lee Cheonghyeon did not quit their useless walks. He did not even ask things like, 'Are you okay?'. Just like now, he would simply start walking. That unhesitating drive shook Kang Kiyeon, allowing him to breathe.
The two walked past shops that had not yet opened. As they passed an apartment complex, they moved against the flow of people heading to work.
"Once we get into school, we'll be walking in that direction again, won't we?"
"I guess we have no choice but to enjoy the present…"
They did not talk about the evaluation, the agency, or the older members. Other conversations were more effective for clearing their heads.
Lee Cheonghyeon did not get into the arts high school. The news was big enough to reach Kang Kiyeon in the dance department. He even heard that the teachers had carried around lunch trays trying to stop him.
His growth might slow down, but Lee Cheonghyeon's immense talent would not fade just because he was also a trainee. In terms of future prospects, Lee Cheonghyeon was more promising than Kang Kiyeon. Nevertheless, Lee Cheonghyeon chose to let go of the piano.
"A person can't live life doing everything they want to do!"
He said it nonchalantly, but the process had been anything but smooth. Going against his family's opposition was a series of conflicts. During that time, Lee Cheonghyeon cried a lot. After everything was resolved, he ran forward looking only ahead, like a person who had cried all their tears away.
Kang Kiyeon was the complete opposite. He kept dance as a safety net until middle school, even after becoming a trainee. Backed by his family's support, he applied to the arts high school without any trouble.
Despite all that, he kept faltering. He was as precarious as a sandcastle without a foundation. The reality of being in an incomparably comfortable environment, yet relying on his friend's goodwill for help, sometimes made Kang Kiyeon feel even more miserable.
Why am I so weak? Life can't be easy for other people either, so why do I already feel so tired? A sense of self-loathing he could not voice for fear of ridicule overwhelmed him.
"If we were at the same school, we would've had the same route to and from school. It's a shame," Lee Cheonghyeon added. His tone held no blame, but the words still pricked Kang Kiyeon's heart.
"…Sorry."
"For what?"
"If I hadn't tempted you to become a trainee, you would've gone to the arts high school for piano, wouldn't you?"
The Lee Cheonghyeon he had seen at the recital shone so brightly that 'wonderful' was an understatement. He was so outstanding that even someone who knew nothing about piano or classical music could tell he was amazing. One could only imagine how he must have looked to people in that field.
He had needlessly dragged a talent, who would have been showered with bouquets, into an uncertain future. Now that things had turned out this way, he wanted to at least take responsibility and debut with him, but the one who did the persuading was in this pathetic state. Everything was agonizing.
Just as his gaze fell to the ground, a light impact hit his arm. He steadied his staggering body and looked up to see Lee Cheonghyeon grinning at him.
"But life would've been less fun!"
"Are you having fun now?"
"I'm cherishing my choice. This is the first decision I've ever made without compromising."
In reality, Lee Cheonghyeon did his best without ever slacking off. He practiced tenaciously, as if to make up for his late start. Even after surpassing his trainee seniors, Jeong Seongbin and Kang Kiyeon, he never grew complacent.
And yet, he was not stressed. It was not because he was getting good results for his effort. It was because he was happy. Each day was too precious to be swayed by trivial things.
"You said you're doing this because you want to, right? I'm also following my heart, so don't feel indebted to me, but if you betray me after all this, I won't let you get away with it."
As the past came up, Kang Kiyeon's face flushed. He remembered texting Lee Cheonghyeon, acting important and asking if one needed a reason to do what they wanted. To hide his embarrassment, Kang Kiyeon grumbled.
"Hey, as if there's any way I'd debut and you wouldn't."
"Who said that's what betrayal is? Why would it be a betrayal if things don't go your way? It's a betrayal if you don't support me in your heart! I'll be watching you."
Lee Cheonghyeon laid down the threat. It was not scary at all. The sun must have been rising, as the sky slowly brightened.
"Is there anything you want for your birthday?" Kang Kiyeon asked. Lee Cheonghyeon's birthday was just around the corner.
"We just said happy birthday and skipped yours, so what's with the gift? Let's just grab a meal together or something."
"With a chicken breast lunch box?"
"That's the worst."
Lee Cheonghyeon had been regretting not being able to celebrate his friend's birthday, but what could he do? Kang Kiyeon's birthday was also at the end of the month, so he could not escape the clutches of pressure.
If I told him that the morning walk on that day was my gift, Lee Cheonghyeon, who was usually shameless to an almost excessive degree, would surely get embarrassed.
"Here, hold this."
Kang Kiyeon took a hot pack from his pocket and held it out. Lee Cheonghyeon asked what it was, then took the non-woven fabric pouch. It had just been opened and was not yet warm.
"A hot pack?"
"It's cold, isn't it?"
"Don't tell me this is my birthday present?"
"Are you trying to make me look cheap?"
At his irritated tone, Lee Cheonghyeon cackled with laughter.
"If you'd just said let's go inside, Kang-geon would've been so disappointed~. Especially since you even prepared a hot pack. As expected, there's no friend who understands Kiyeon's heart as well as Cheonghyeon, right?"
"Yeah, sure."
Despite the half-hearted reply, Lee Cheonghyeon did not mind. He shoved the hot pack deep into his padded jacket pocket. A warmth slowly began to spread through his body.