SS Chapter 15: A Fan's Life Is Tiring

TL: FoodieMonster007

Baek Haewon was a veteran in the Sparkler fandom and an old-timer at her university. She headed to a lecture hall for a required liberal arts course for graduating students.

Baek Haewon opened the back door to a familiar sight. Jaded upperclassmen diligently filled the seats from the back.

Baek Haewon took one of the few remaining spots next to the wall.

Why do professors always schedule lectures for 9 AM on a Monday…!

A dark mood settled over Baek Haewon. She couldn't understand why she was always at a disadvantage despite paying tuition. Baek Haewon swore she would never look back at this damn school once she graduated.

"Bad morning," a dying voice said. A classmate with a complexion as poor as his voice sat beside her.

"A garbage Monday," Baek Haewon returned the greeting.

Do I really have to live like this just for credits?

Nevertheless, these two good students sat down a full ten minutes before class. They braced themselves for the mind-numbing lecture to come.

"Hey."

"What?"

"How was your blind date?" her classmate asked.

Baek Haewon's brow furrowed like an accordion.

When Baek Haewon and her classmate wished each other a good weekend on Friday, they had been full of life. It was less about the blind date and more about the approaching weekend. The memory of the sweet-tasting air now felt like it was from a past life.

"It became the number one way to waste a Sunday."

"Why? Was the guy awful?"

"I'm planning to avoid the matchmaker for a while."

"It must have been really bad." Her classmate leaned back at her cold response.

The trouble started because Baek Haewon hadn't dismissed the old saying that you should date at least once in college.

Baek Haewon sold away her Sunday. She was swayed by the matchmaker's confident recommendation that he was a genuinely good person and that they would look good together.

This tragedy would never have happened if only spArk had been active. Baek Haewon would have worked an extra day at her part-time job to buy albums and merch. With UtopiA's doors closed, Baek Haewon jumped at the suggestion from a trusted older friend, thinking the timing was perfect.

The public perception of idol fans isn't very good. Since Baek Haewon spent her free time watching nothing but idols, she knew the importance of a social mask. As a seasoned fangirl, Baek Haewon always carefully managed her image on SNS and outside her home for a smooth social life.

The matchmaker told her to think of it as a casual meal, but Baek Haewon still put a lot of effort into getting ready. She was determined not to lose her dignity. Baek Haewon set her messenger profile picture to a trip photo and wrote out her full name properly.

"I hear you like idols?"

Her mind control failed completely at his very first words.

After spending half your life as a fan, you learn not to answer such questions honestly. Otaku talk was something to enjoy excitedly in a private room at a hot pot restaurant, not something to be thrown around carelessly.

The cool cafe air was a lifesaver. Otherwise, Baek Haewon's back would have been drenched in cold sweat. For her own honor and the matchmaker's, Baek Haewon offered a heavily filtered response.

"Idol songs are all over the popular charts, so I listen to them sometimes! Do you have any favorite idols or songs you listen to often?"

Baek Haewon kindly returned the question. She wanted to avoid passionately obsessing over spArk by herself. She showed effort to get to know him, fitting the meeting's purpose. However, the conversation took an unusual turn.

"I'm not a fan of things that are too hectic. I guess I just don't see what's worth making such a fuss over?"

Baek Haewon's lips twitched. She was a fan of Kim Iwol, the master of compliments, and known among her online friends as a genius at making a scene. Her pride, which would have confidently listed 'gushing' as a hobby and 'making a fuss' as a special skill, was wounded. She smiled desperately, fighting to keep the corners of her mouth from drooping.

"Haewon, do you also wait in line all night?"

"For what?"

"Concerts and things like that."

A comment from someone who heard a few things but knows absolutely nothing. Who on earth lets you into a concert just for waiting in line? The only things that make fans sit on the street are outdoor performances and hopeless pop-ups that don't take reservations and just have a single kiosk, you idiot.

Besides, so what if I did stand on the street? It's not like I dragged you there and forced you to hold my spot, so what's the reason to get angry?

Baek Haewon was displeased but didn't rebuke him. To survive this harsh world, one had to know how to coolly brush off a non-fan's cruel questions.

The man's connection to the matchmaker also made Baek Haewon hold back. She was a proper adult, too mature to get indignant just because her hobby was insulted. As a fan of a group led by Jeong Seongbin, she was an adult who knew about patience. Even if her inner thoughts grew rougher with anger, she wouldn't let it show.

Baek Haewon endured patiently for the matchmaker's reputation. Instead, she tried to change the subject.

"You need stamina to pull an all-nighter. Do you do any sports? I'm looking into swimming."

"Don't all people who like idols just stay in their rooms looking at their phones?"

The man didn't play along. He didn't seem clueless. A truly clueless person would find it difficult to pick out only such sharp-edged words. He simply seemed to enjoy making rude comments.

"I hear they're addicted to SNS, take out loans to buy albums, and stuff like that. Wow… everyone must be rolling in money. Or maybe they just have too much time on their hands."

Even if someone viewed idol fans unfavorably, it was rare to mention such details. It is normal not to know much about a field you're not interested in.

There are two main reasons why negative criticism becomes so detailed. First, because you have direct experience or know the subject well. Second, because you've made a habit of latching onto and tearing down the subject with the sole intention of criticizing the other person.

"And they tear idols to shreds when they date or get married. I wonder if there's anything more ignorant than that."

Her blind date was the latter type. He seemed to find it fun to criticize others purely for the sake of it.

Baek Haewon's mood sank coldly. It didn't matter if he was prejudiced against idol fans or had met a fan who fit that image. Even if some of his points were valid, that didn't give him a reason to insult Baek Haewon.

Does he think I work part-time because I'm bored? And has he ever even seen me tear into an idol for dating? Maybe I'd curse them out if they brought their girlfriend to a scheduled event or two-timed a fan they seduced, but isn't that a problem that deserves social condemnation, not just for idols? Who in their right mind brings their lover to their workplace or blatantly cheats!

He can find idol fans annoying. Even though it's not his money I'm using for my fan activities.

It's also his freedom to think the extreme behaviors that make the news are unsightly. However, there's no reason for me to tolerate his dead-on-arrival social skills.

"Did you ask if I play any sports? I play golf sometimes."

"Oh, you play golf. I heard from someone that a single round costs hundreds of dollars, is that right?"

"If you go with a group once in a while, that amount is nothing."

"And it's terrible for the environment, isn't it? They say it uses a ton of water to maintain the grass. There are so many ways to waste money, really!"

The man showed his displeasure, sensing her aggressive tone. "Do you hate golf?"

"I'm not a fan of mindlessly carving up mountains, no."

Why? Is it small talk when you criticize someone else's hobby, but offensive when someone criticizes yours?

If her goal had been normal small talk, Baek Haewon would have chimed in cheerfully. She could have mentioned seeing a legendary golfer's interview on Metube or the recent proliferation of golf wear stores.

There were so many things to discuss, so why couldn't she entertain this one topic? To keep the conversation going, Baek Haewon could have easily asked if he played screen golf, no matter how uninteresting the subject was. This was unlike him, who showed zero sincerity.

"I hear it's common to just take a proof shot at the entrance and leave. Do you do that too, Hyeonggeun?"

"You're crossing a line. Were my words upsetting to you?"

"No. I just thought this level of conversation was mutually acceptable."

Through it all, Baek Haewon maintained her smile. He, on the other hand, blatantly showed his displeasure.

Steam built up inside Baek Haewon.

If I had known I'd end up in a conversation like this, it would have been better for my well-being to stay in bed and chat with my online comrades. I feel like adding a praying emoji, just like in an Instagram foodie post.

"Haewon, you're a bit… immature."

The best he could come up with was an accusation that I don't know how the world works. Fuck, can't you see who's being more socially adept right now! Even if I give you a hundred passes, my social skills are at max level for being so polite to you! Why else would the ability to hide one's fan status be as important as aesthetics when buying merch?

Baek Haewon's insides twisted. She knew just how many fans put on a 'normal person' act because they hated the prejudice that idol fans lack social skills. She even lived that way herself.

"Regardless of who's mature or not, Hyeonggeun. You're being too insincere."

"Me?"

"Isn't a blind date about getting to know the other person? I thought that was the polite thing to do. That's why I kept asking what songs you like and what sports you play, but you, Hyeonggeun, were just busy confirming if the hobby you heard about from my friend was true."

Baek Haewon took a breath. If this were the SNS world, she would have already posted 'This dog-eat-dog world is coming at me way too aggressively' a hundred times. She suppressed the urge to let out a lion's roar.

"It would have been nice if you had just asked which idol I like, or why I thought of learning to swim out of all the sports. You don't seem to have any questions for me, and I think I've learned enough about what kind of person you are, so let's call it a day!"

…And that was how the blind date ended. There was no satisfying follow-up. The matchmaker didn't get shocked and apologize, nor did the guy beg to meet again while admitting his rudeness. The world doesn't always turn in such a refreshing way.

Her classmate's expression hardened like a stone statue after hearing the whole story.

"Where did the matchmaker even find such a stuffy old fossil?"

"I don't know. I'm just trying to think of it as running into a weirdo."

"You've had a huge dose of bad luck exorcised right at the start of the year. You went through a lot." Her classmate patted Baek Haewon's shoulder.

Baek Haewon was thoroughly worn out after the crappy blind date, the attack on her idol-fan identity, and a 9 AM Monday class. The walk to get food after one more major class was exhausting.

To recover her energy, Baek Haewon ordered a hot and spicy malatang. It was almost 2 PM. This was the time a BubblePop from Kim Iwol had a 75% chance of arriving, asking if she had a delicious lunch. This was Kim Iwol Time, presumably considerate of office workers whose lunch breaks start at 12:30 or 1 PM!

"Number 149 is ready!"

Just as Baek Haewon's malatang came out, her phone buzzed.

Iwol Pizza [Did you have lunch?]

[I ate with the dance line!]

[~ Today's Lunch Menu ~

Iwol : Soba

Jeho : Donburi

Kiyeon : Mozzarella Cheese Tonkatsu]

[We got takeout tonkatsu for Cheonghyeon!]

The message from her favorite member, checking if Sparkler had eaten first, tugged at Baek Haewon's heartstrings as always.

The question my blind date didn't even ask, you, Iwol, are asking to ten million Sparkler. You check on Sparkler before you even talk about what you ate! This is why I set aside my real life for my fan life.

Baek Haewon let her malatang get cold as she read the non-stop stream of BubblePop messages from Kim Iwol. She busily switched between SNS and the BubblePop app, archiving Kim Iwol's messages and expressing her full fangirl heart.

With just a few taps, Baek Haewon forgot all her trivial troubles. Her mind filled with the hope that spArk would have a spring comeback this year. A few selcas followed, making the corners of her mouth lift automatically.

It was clear that Baek Haewon was fated to live like this for the foreseeable future. As long as this joy never ended, forever…