Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 23: The Chaotic Self-Produced Content Diary (5)
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TL: FoodieMonster007
The atrocious Sparkler greeting time was merely the opening. Baek Haewon realized this tragic fact only after the members sat down.
Fans often have many things in common with the artists they like. Whether these commonalities were forced or fated remained a mystery, but from fashion and musical taste to even their MBTI, there was always some similarity.
This tendency grew stronger the longer one was in a fandom. The desire to wear an idol’s items led to buying them one by one, and before you knew it, your entire body would be covered in merchandise related to your favorite.
Sparkler was no exception to this tradition. Even Baek Haewon often heard on social media that her style of gushing was becoming similar to Kim Iwol's.
Because she liked black-haired Kim Iwol, she went to a concert with a black ribbon on her light stick. Another fan with a black beaded strap on her own light stick then asked if she was missing any photocards from a set before giving her a Kim Iwol photocard. Even though he hadn't intended it, her favorite idol had made Baek Haewon this way.
The spArk on the screen were also a 'Spark', becoming like the Sparkler who had them as their favorite. Like 'A' being a variation of 'a'. They started as spArk, but they were a bit transformed.
Kang Kiyeon looked ready at any moment to show off his incredible leather pants fit. He seemed about to post a short dance challenge video with the hashtag #SparklerChallenge, just like his dance-genius fans.
『Iwol : Wasn't it super crowded on the way here?』
『Cheonghyeon : The crowds in Hongdae and Hapjeong are packed tight.』
The brutal call-out began immediately. It perfectly captured their own habit of complaining that they should pick a different meeting spot, only to end up reverting to somewhere on Line 2 after considering everyone's travel times.
『Seongbin : Iwol, did you match your concept with the Iwol-klers today?』
What the heck is an Iwol-kler?
A separate name for solo stans, distinct from the main fandom name, was usually not a good thing. It often referred to malicious or thoughtless fans and was not a pretty nickname.
After thinking for a moment, Baek Haewon soon understood the context of '○○-kler'.
The object of their fangirling isn't spArk but Sparkler, so that's why they're making that distinction.
The rest were set up to be fans of Jeho-klers, Seongbin-klers, Joowoo-klers, Cheonghyeon-klers, and Kiyeon-klers. She didn't know how they planned to stan Sparkler, but the preliminary planning was very meticulous.
Upon closer inspection, the details were surprisingly accurate. Park Joowoo was a prime example. Even though he had said he rarely wore accessories in his private life, a silver ring shone on the finger of Park Joowoo, the one-day fan of a Joowoo-kler.
The nail tips Lee Cheonghyeon wore were also a popular gel nail product among teenage girls. She'd recently seen them trending on social media for being dazzling. It wasn't Park Joowoo's or Lee Cheonghyeon's own style, but meticulously matched to the style of their fans.
Choi Jeho balancing between hip and sexy was almost a live-action reenactment. Sparkler were people too, so they didn't just wear shirts unbuttoned to the collarbone or shorts anytime. Wanting to look good in public or for their fandom friends, they thoroughly imitated the refined personal style Choi Jeho showed on 'In-byeol' or at the airport.
Although they sometimes held #FF6600 boasting contests like an ugly Christmas sweater party, that was only when they rented a room to hang out. Usually, everyone was respectable. They pursued a subtle coordination, just like Choi Jeho in the content, who shyly asserted his presence with an orange knotted bracelet over a friendship bracelet. The more realistically spArk became Sparkler-ized, the more tormented Baek Haewon became.
『Joowoo : We have to take our proof shots…!』
The essential course of an offline meeting appeared. Everyone busily rummaged through their bags. A small cotton doll emerged, held in a large hand.
Is that one of those dolls where you put a picture in the face?
As the merch market developed, all sorts of products came out for even a single type of doll. Among them were cost-effective DIY dolls with a round, empty space for the face, like putting a photo in a frame.
Since it was a familiar design, Baek Haewon widened her eyes to see what picture they had put in. The six of them reached toward the center of the table, gathering the dolls in one place.
『Kiyeon : Didn't the dolls come out really well this time?』
Kang Kiyeon said confidently, despite holding a doll with a completely black face. There were some dots embedded in it, but they were hard to see.
What on earth did they stick in the face?
A puzzled Baek Haewon suddenly realized the picture's identity. The camera closed up on the doll's face, which had a print of colorful lights on a black background. On one doll, the letters 'spArk' were faintly visible.
『♥ High-quality printed Sparkler ♥』
That was right. They were fans of Sparkler. Naturally, the dolls didn't have spArk's faces but the audience filled with Sparkler. How could they protect the fans' portrait rights like this while throwing away their human rights!
『Jeho : Did you buy the doll hats and put them on yourself?』
『Seongbin : Yep! I went to the store and got them myself.』
Jeong Seongbin proudly shook the Sparkler doll, which had a melon bread dangling from its head.
An account of a Jeong Seongbin sighting had popped up a while ago. It said that Jeong Seongbin was piling things into his shopping basket at a doll clothes store.
≫ I think SB came to Doll-like today!!
└Don't you think it was SJ-ssi?? He's really into clothes, so maybe he collects doll clothes too…?????
└SJ-ssi is a civilian thoughㅠㅠ I think it would be better to take the post down!
└Heopㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Okay!!!!
Due to the similar initials, the Sparkler, who used search-avoidance terms for the leader's name, quietly buried the anecdote about the person presumed to be Mr. Jeong Seongjun.
However, it turned out to be him. He had gone shopping specifically to decorate the Sparkler dolls' heads and hadn't mentioned it on Insta or BubblePop to make it a surprise. Innocent Mr. Jeong Seongjun just ended up becoming the guy who bought a ton of doll clothes in broad daylight.
While his own fashion sense had thoroughly angered Kim Iwol, the fact that he chose cute doll clothes was already out of the ordinary. As the history master of the idol industry, Jeong Seongbin had an amazing knack for catching onto the 'items fans love'. He attached album symbols to the clothes and used flashy hairpins he wouldn't wear even if paid. He was the spitting image of countless Sparkler.
『Seongbin : I bought one for each of our spArk, you know? Take the one you like!』
Befitting a fan of the leader's fan, Jeong Seongbin was also generous. Thanks to him, the Sparkler dolls each ended up with a soboro bread, croissant, baguette, slice of bread, or pancake on their heads. Making the fans feel savory, our spArk are truly dutiful sons.
It felt like they took about 50,000 photos of the dolls. They grouped them into combinations like the 'First Generation Sparkler' group, the 'Asia Tour Sparkler' group, and the 'Orange Lighting Sparkler' group. They gave them props, unwrapped toploaders holding what looked like mockup fanclub kit photocards, and then took pictures passionately. When Kim Iwol adjusted the zoom and filmed from various angles, Baek Haewon bit her lip hard.
After that, spArk's outrageous acts continued. At the scene where they put a picture of the concert audience full of light sticks on the monitor and exclaimed that this was when Sparkler 'hit their peak', Baek Haewon seriously considered giving up watching.
『Cheonghyeon : Iwol, are you drinking chamomile tea to copy the Iwol-klers?』
『Iwol : Got to match the code! Jeho, why are you drinking Job's tears tea? Was there a 'tteokbap' that Jeho-klers like Job's tears tea?』
『Jeho : The Jeho-klers like whiskey so much that…』
『~ We are experiencing temporary technical difficulties ~』
She could almost hear the screams of the Jeho-klers who would put soju in their carts first whenever they went on a trip. The fans who liked Choi Jeho really could hold their liquor. Baek Haewon nodded, acknowledging their amazing analytical skills.
≫ How many Sparkler vlogs have you guys watched
UtopiA-nims, I'm sorry but please cut off their dorm wifi
└ Guys, isn't it time for another cherished items auction?? It's not for anything else, it's just that Sparkler really want a router. It would be great if you could unplug the one you're using and sell it as is.
≫ Jeho-klers, we're disbanding, disbanding
Let's just drink until today and then quit
└You're not planning on only living until today, are you?
≫ They take pictures with two dolls, then three dolls, then all six dolls, and after they're done with the dolls they have to take pictures with the food, and they have to take an aerial shot of everyone making matching hand hearts, and take pictures of the dolls and photocards together
└The food is secondary, proof shots are the priority. It can't be helped, all that remains are the photos!!!!!!!!
As expected, social media was in an uproar. A silent scream escaped when Park Joowoo used a sticker function on a photo editing app to cover Lee Cheonghyeon's nails in a picture.
If they were going to protect his privacy to this extent, why were they exposing people's private lives like this? For what, in heaven's name! Baek Haewon sobbed inwardly.
『Kiyeon : Did everyone see the subway ad at Gangnam Station this time? Sparkler's aesthetic sense is just~.』
『Joowoo : I saw it. I made it my BubblePop profile picture…』
『Seongbin : Did the Joowoo-klers notice?』
『Joowoo : Yeah. They even mentioned it, asking when I saw it… Their observation skills are really good.』
That's because everyone on BubblePop, including me, is only looking at your profile picture.
No matter how much Baek Haewon, a Joowoo-kler and a Sparkler, shouted, her words couldn't reach the Park Joowoo on the screen. Park Joowoo's bright smile made Baek Haewon's heart ache even more. The intention was clearly a fan shout-out, but the fans themselves were becoming more tormented. It was a bizarre piece of content.
As she kept pausing the video, her progress was slow. A BubblePop message arrived. It was not from the Iwol who went to the offline meeting, but from spArk's Iwol Pizza. Baek Haewon had often been this happy to get a message from her favorite, but she could count on one hand the times it had felt as much like a savior as today.
Iwol Pizza [I posted a vlog reviewing my trip to the offline small gathering!]
[I'll release the review photos soon too!]
Ah, my traitor from heaven.
Feeling an unbearable sense of confusion, Baek Haewon screenshotted the message from her idol, who promised to become her ardent fan, with a mix of love and embarrassment.