Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 42: Airing Grievances (1)
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TL: FoodieMonster007
Monitoring online reactions, from comeback teasers to our promotions, was a small hobby of mine. I once considered it part of my job, and at another time, I was forbidden from reading them. Now, I surfed the web in moderation for a healthy purpose.
I even set rules to avoid certain types of posts. I didn't take posts with heavy swearing or extreme opinions to heart, even if they were about me or the team. Despite enjoying a comfortable internet life within these clear rules, some posts still made me flinch.
≫ F*ck, is it okay to make money so cowardly? Let's have a fair and square rematch
└ What part of that is fair and square?
≫ It's like signing a lifetime romance contract with Sparkler. Don't forget, you're the one who seduced us first.
≫ Choi Jeho, you XXX… You must have a Gumiho among your ancestors, you X…
≫ From today on, my ideal type is a crying man. No counterarguments accepted. It's even better if he's a man who has just cried.
The true nature of these posts was rough affection. Sometimes, seeing automatically filtered posts only left me with questions. Why did these people give me the undeserved compliment that I was good at fawning over them? Compared to their comments, which poured with sincerity, I, who just spouted whatever I saw, seemed like nothing special.
The saying "nothing can beat a true fan's love" felt one hundred percent right. I was just happy they liked me. If they hadn't, I probably would have locked myself in a back room to hone my planning skills.
"Next, Iwol, have a seat."
"Okay!"
As I scrolled through social media, it became my turn for makeup. The concept for this promotion was a 'sexy and decadent man', so we went all out with our styling to ensure our original content matched the music video's tone. Every visit to the salon was like a daily makeover show.
"What color are we focusing on today?"
"We're doing a semi-smoky eye… so black?"
"Won't I turn into a panda? What if it looks like dark circles?"
"Smoky eyes these days aren't applied as darkly as they used to be. Your eyes are so defined that drawing a line would actually make them look stuffy, so we won't even use eyeliner."
"Besides, Iwol, you have a face shape that could never look like a panda."
Reassurances poured in from both sides. I was relieved my jawline hadn't collapsed. Twenty minutes later, their divine makeup skills produced a face optimized for music shows, both soft and intense. Lee Cheonghyeon even had beads attached around his eyes, and I took pictures of him until my battery died.
The outfits were as elaborate as what we wore on music broadcasts. Dressed in matching leather, the six of us had an intimidating aura straight out of a spy movie.
spArk, polished and shed of our ordinary clothes, was about to film terrifying original content with this look. The time for revelations had come, a time for idols with many sins to face their karma.
"So one person sits in the front, and the other five talk about their pent-up feelings toward that person?"
"The way you use 'pent-up' makes it sound like you've got a lot on your mind, Cheonghyeon."
"What? Iwol, go sit down. I have something to say now."
While we bickered, we each received a voice-changing microphone.
"Who should go first?"
At Jeong Seongbin's question, Kang Kiyeon shot to his feet. His reasoning was that it was better to get the beating over with first. The guy strode forward, put on the headset that would block our real voices, and draped a blanket printed with cute animal friends over himself, leaving his face visible. For someone who went up so bravely, his appearance became quite adorable.
"You can start!"
Kang Kiyeon waved at the members holding microphones behind him. As if on cue, someone spoke.
"Kiyeon."
"Yes?"
"I heard you're going through puberty?"
"I'm not!"
Kang Kiyeon, who had already suffered a brief 'chuunibyou' controversy, shot up like a spring. Forgetting the rules, he turned around, and we all clamored for him to turn back.
Lee Cheonghyeon had tossed his microphone aside and was busy laughing. Only Park Joowoo, who had struck a vital point right from the start, remained calm.
"Our Kiyeon, he's so kind and honest, but…"
"That long preamble tells me it's Seongbin."
Jeong Seongbin, caught red-handed, clamped his mouth shut. These guys knew each other too well. If we used a suggestion box, they'd figure it out by handwriting. If we posted on an anonymous forum, they'd guess the writer by the spacing and style. I wasn't an exception, which felt a bit awkward.
Jeong Seongbin requested that Kang Kiyeon wear a t-shirt after showering. It was true that Kang Kiyeon was the only one in our dorm who walked around shirtless.
"I know you're confident because you have a good body, but…"
"No! I'm sorry, I'll wear one! So please don't misunderstand!"
"Must be nice to have a great body~."
"That's Lee Cheonghyeon!"
It was me. It was funny, so I decided to chime in.
Kang Kiyeon returned to his seat looking like a burning sweet potato. After witnessing the fierce attack, everyone became cautious. The hellish 'talking-in-front-of-you' time resumed when Kang Kiyeon pointed out the next victim. This round's contestant was Jeong Seongbin.
"Wow, I can't hear your real voices at all."
As Jeong Seongbin marveled at the noise-canceling function, Kang Kiyeon gripped the microphone tightly.
Lee Cheonghyeon bit his lip, holding back laughter. He couldn't cry for fear of smudging his makeup, so he just made choking sounds. Seeing his younger brother's bizarre expression, Park Joowoo also failed to control his face, and the back row erupted.
"Seongbin."
"What?"
Despite the chaos, Kang Kiyeon glared at the back of Jeong Seongbin's head with fire in his eyes. The voice he heard was a low baritone, but the sight was an adorable blanket, making the cognitive dissonance grow.
"You need to stop looking at our BubblePop so much."
"Ahem!"
"It's an obsession!"
Jeong Seongbin hung his head low. The bunnies on the blanket covering his shoulders bobbed up and down.
"I haven't looked at it lately…!"
"You can't use the fact that you were experiencing a 'breakup' as an excuse here!"
His desperate plea was completely ignored. We helped Kang Kiyeon and launched a fierce offensive. The voices from the microphones were all different, making it five times louder.
Just as public opinion settled, Choi Jeho picked up the microphone.
What complaints could he possibly have? He's the one monopolizing Jeong Seongbin's affection. He wants a lot.
Ignoring my envy and jealousy, Choi Jeho spoke. "Seongbin, you're really good to the older members."
I struggled to hold back laughter at the high-pitched tone, the complete opposite of his appearance. The way he spoke in an awkwardly refined tone to hide his identity was also funny. Park Joowoo was on the verge of collapsing.
"But sometimes, watching from the side, it's a bit much."
"You have to be good to the older members."
"No, I'm telling you, it's really excessive."
Jeong Seongbin seemed to think the speaker was a younger member upset about being neglected. A sharp conflict arose between Jeong Seongbin, who respectfully served his elders, and the elder who was being served.
"I thought I was watching someone serve a high lord from the Joseon Dynasty."
At Choi Jeho's words, both I, one half of the 'High Lord Duo', and Jeong Seongbin, the man from the Joseon Dynasty, helplessly broke down.
"Just be comfortable."
"But still, how can I be with the older members…"
"If you want to be treated like someone from the Joseon Dynasty, then keep it up."
At Choi Jeho's words, we collapsed onto the sofa and floor, completely drained from laughing. He clearly didn't want to become a high lord.
"You know we're only saying this because we love you, right?"
"Yes, I love all the members…"
To the charming closing comment, Jeong Seongbin replied in a voice that suggested he needed to redefine love.
After throwing off the blanket, Jeong Seongbin mouthed "Who was it?" to the younger members. No one answered.
"Can I go this time…?"
Park Joowoo, who had cackled while watching his friend get roasted, volunteered. Park Joowoo took the chair. We swapped microphones, thoroughly maintaining our anonymity.
"Joowoo is so diligent, there's nothing to ask of him."
"Then why didn't you let Joowoo repot his plants?"
We were supposed to talk about the person in front, but they started sniping at each other from the back. Jeong Seongbin, just roasted, was roasted again, leaving him in tatters.
"I did have something I wanted to ask Joowoo."
To get things back on track, I opened my mouth. My voice sounded pettier than I'd imagined, which flustered me, but I took a calm breath. Under the blanket, Park Joowoo's head swayed.
"What is it…?"
"Why do you like Choi Jeho so much?"
The suspicion I had been hiding burst out.
No, but really, why does he like Choi Jeho so much? I really don't get it.
"It's Iwol…"
"What on earth did Choi Jeho do for you that was so great? I'm seriously feeling competitive."
Choi Jeho shrugged. I knew it was a habit, but today it was particularly infuriating. He looked so triumphant, as if mocking me. This is what I mean.
"Isn't it because Jeho doesn't nag?" Lee Cheonghyeon, a bystander, chimed in with a giggle.
"Because he's a good dancer?"
"Are you indirectly calling me a stiff dancer right now?"
"Is it because he seems cool?"
"Fine, I hold grudges, but still. You're discriminating between me and Choi Jeho for reasons like this?"
The younger members' criticisms were relentless. It was true I couldn't dance as well as Choi Jeho and was a nagging grudge-holder, but did they have to pile on like they'd been waiting for this chance? It was so unfair I could hardly stand it.
"I like all the older members. I like the younger members too…!"
"It's because you like Choi Jeho exceptionally more. Can you even imitate my acting that well?"
Now that I've mentioned it, the editing team will probably show a clip as evidence. Park Joowoo's possessed-level acting was worth bringing up again.
"If you tell me to, I'll do it…!"
"Oh yeah? Go ahead."
"The audio from the back row is overlapping, let's speak one at a time, guys!"
As soon as the words were out, Park Joowoo bellowed. The line was familiar, but I didn't think he sounded that similar. However, seeing even Choi Jeho collapse while covering his face, it seemed the imitation was quite on point.
"Now can you believe that I like all the older members…?"
"I'll believe you."
Headset off, Park Joowoo walked over to me with the blanket still draped over his shoulders. He opened his arms, and we shared a hug of reconciliation.
"Since I'm already up, I'll sit down this time."
The moment I turned to get the blanket for a smooth game progression, I saw the five of them holding their microphones right up to their chins.
"Your momentum is something else, huh?"
"If you know, then hurry up and sit down," Lee Cheonghyeon commanded.
I obediently sat in the chair, fitted the headset snugly over my ears, and draped the blanket over myself like the little match girl from the fairy tale.