Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 56: Journey (3)
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TL: FoodieMonster007
Park Joowoo's popularity came from his 'gap moe'. Fans loved the stark contrast between his cool appearance and his soft, fluffy personality. A firm core hidden inside, like a skewer, also served as a charming point. It helped that with a languid expression, he could produce cold, sleek high notes like stainless steel. When he scratched his throat, the air vibrated with the scent of iron filings.
Despite having a face that looked like it could bury someone, Park Joowoo's personality was gentle. (Though Choi Jeho didn't care). As the older members, Jeong Seongbin and I always worried Park Joowoo would get hurt in the rough entertainment industry. We raised our main vocalist like a precious treasure.
People around the world saw Park Joowoo the same way, from his initial stardom with 『speaker』 to his world star status with 『SYNDROME』. He was described as a single sprout blooming in a blizzard. This eloquent description defined him so well that it spread widely, even reaching the Korean Sparklers, his home base.
Gentle. Quiet. Kind. The words used to describe Park Joowoo had no rough edges. Everything about him was neat, except for the slight lean as he sat on the sofa. His bold, transparent-framed glasses perfectly suited his white hair. I wanted to applaud the stylist on the other side of the world.
However, someone had been ruining the mood from the start.
<Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Your voice is the complete opposite of when you sing, isn't it?>
It was the host of the talk show. He wasn't criticizing a real problem. When Park Joowoo appeared on another channel with his band members, there were no such comments. Park Joowoo wasn't some rookie who couldn't control his volume. If he was, I would have drilled him relentlessly back on Korean television.
The MC's attitude had been like this since the opening. Even I, with my background in business conversation, could tell he had no good feelings.
<Great fashion! You look like a total nerd. I mean, I'm not saying you're a nerd, but that your nerd 'fashion' is cool… You're an idol whose clothes are chosen from head to toe by staff, right? Then this isn't your fault. Joowoo's staff, are you here? Your sense is really… um… yeah. Let's just leave it at that.>
<Your hobby is gardening? You really talk like a typical rock star. They say there are two ways to become a world-famous rock star. One is to get addicted to something, be it drugs or cigarettes, and the other is to grow plants, quit smoking, and go running. Did you happen to practice for this interview beforehand?>
This could have just been the host's and the program's style. Roast shows and mischievous panelists were common. If it had been just harsh joking, I would have worried for Park Joowoo, just as Lee Cheonghyeon did at first.
But mocking someone to their face is different. I wasn't worried. I was pissed off. The ridicule always centered on him being a 'factory-produced K-Pop idol who can't do anything on his own and can only give canned answers'. His malicious intent was obvious. Why do so many bastards love to ruin other people's parades?
<Ailee, is our listener's message board still open? Let's try to keep it closed. Until the next guest comes out.>
He threw shade even during EZR, implying K-Pop fans were rabid. I wasn't going to pretend it was a cultural difference. My insides were boiling.
Being direct and having a bad attitude are two different things. This wasn't a comedy show with a pre-agreed script. He usually spent 50% of his time on work, 30% on small talk, and 20% on jokes with other celebrities. So it was naturally offensive when he switched to 90% derogatory jokes just for Park Joowoo.
Lee Cheonghyeon and I were about to die from high blood pressure, but Park Joowoo himself looked serene. A smile remained on his lips without a hint of restlessness. Because…
<Sorry to keep bringing this up, but are those cute glasses and that pretty shirt for the fans too? Sorry. You're just so easy to look at, I can't help but keep asking.>
<You don't have to be sorry. When you say that, the camera will focus on my glasses one more time. It's something my fans will really love.>
…because inside Park Joowoo, there was still a knife as sharp and hard as a skewer.
The camera zoomed in on his face and glasses, and Park Joowoo winked without hesitation. I didn't know how the global audience would react, but it was certain that the Sparklers would love it.
<Don't you ever want to break away from the image your fans want and live freely? Listening to your songs, I can feel the rock spirit.>
<What I want is for my fans to be happy. They've never shackled me. On the contrary, they say, 'Do what you want to do!' They always want us to be happy.>
Park Joowoo's comment ironically made me think of the exact opposite. Most fans wished for their favorite's happiness, just as Park Joowoo said, but it was also true that fans made many demands of him.
More was demanded of idols than of other celebrities. They had to be careful not to set a bad example for young fans with their actions or words, and they had to keep smiling even when hearing unpleasant remarks to their faces. Even if they were struggling with extreme diets or excessive schedules, they were told they had professional spirit only if they collapsed on stage. Being analyzed frame by frame for their posture and being criticized for losing their original passion was so common it was embarrassing to even use as an example.
Some of these were reasonable manners, considering their social impact, while others were debatable. These controversies piled up into an endlessly long list, much like how spArk's code of conduct grew to 101 articles. It was a part of the job that had to be endured, but if asked, 'Does it really have to be this way?'… it was a difficult question to answer.
<Interesting. So you're saying that even after becoming a top star, winking at the camera or singing K-Pop is something you do because you want to.>
I was okay with it, though. Because I had received a love that couldn't be bought with money, a love I couldn't have obtained if I hadn't relived my life.
No one worries about a sick office worker. The average employee works their whole life just to buy a single house. Since I knew what a normal life was like, it never felt hard to stay out of trouble and do my best at the given tasks.
But I didn't know what the other guys thought, aside from our real-world duty to keep our heads straight and repay the fans' affection.
What is Park Joowoo, who made music purely to his own taste, thinking? What must Choi Jeho have felt when I nagged him about the finger heart? Does Jeong Seongbin, in a corner of his heart, also want to film a pure love music video? Is Lee Cheonghyeon happy writing songs where the group's color and marketability are the top priority?
My thoughts grew complicated, but unlike me, who was lost in thought, Park Joowoo answered easily.
<I think the order is the other way around. It's because I did this and that and was chosen by the public that I could become, well… to borrow your expression, a star.>
<You don't think stars are born?>
<Of course not. Does a star the public didn't choose even exist? The listeners make the star, and…>
They made me a star.
Park Joowoo's answer was simple and clear.
I suddenly remembered his childhood dream was to be a shooting star. It was also the first word I thought of when wondering how to celebrate Park Joowoo's success. I was vaguely starting to understand why the young Park Joowoo had such a dream…
It felt like I had realized the reason he came to love his place.
It was arrogant of me to think I was the only one who felt the 'idol life was better'. For Park Joowoo, the stage with his colleagues and the dream Sparkler made real must also be better than a life alone.
He was so admirable on TV that I kept refreshing the shared calendar, wanting to see him again soon.
The two Joowoo stans in Korea still needed a cold drink even after the program ended. Park Joowoo was damn cool and awesome, but the host's rising provocation had been teetering on a dangerous edge.
<Reetlamp, as you know, became a national band by healing the pains our country has held for a long time. They say the environment they grew up in greatly influenced their music.>
<That's right.>
<Were there any difficulties collaborating with them? 『SYNDROME』 also sings about depression. When I think of the universal misfortune Koreans experience, the pressure of studying comes to mind first, but since you were an idol, you wouldn't have had that kind of friction, right?>
I doubted my own ears. I thought I misheard because there were no subtitles. It was a double whammy. He belittled Park Joowoo, implying a K-Pop idol couldn't have suffered much. He also discriminated against Koreans by suggesting studying was their only childhood stress.
<Was there conflict about you doing music instead of going to a good university? Well, there are more serious problems in the world like drug addiction or poverty, but choosing between family expectations and your dream is a difficult thing too, isn't it?>
I was speechless when he said, 'I heard that Korean children aren't happy,' and asked, 'Was your experience enough to empathize with Reetlamp.'
"Won't this… be a problem?"
"…I've never seen a question like this either."
Lee Cheonghyeon looked dumbfounded. Just as I was about to burst from frustration, the camera caught a one-shot of Park Joowoo tilting his head. At that moment, Lee Cheonghyeon and I were fuming.
<That's right. Conflict with family is a pretty serious obstacle. I also had a 'deep' difference of opinion.>
<What kind? Something like, 'Instead of being an idol, how about being a singer-songwriter?'>
<No. More like, 'We're about to drive this car into a deep reservoir, and since you're young, you have no right to resist and must come with us. Is that okay?'>
Park Joowoo's smile never changed. It was like a thin sheet of ice on a lake. A sharp blade glided over it, scattering slivers of ice. The audience, who had laughed at the host's jokes, fell silent as if doused with cold water.
<It was a truly dizzying experience… By the time I realized I was up against them, the car was already in mid-air. Plus, it was a 2-on-1 fight. I was really lucky that my mom and dad admitted defeat and backed down cleanly. They steadfastly went the way they had chosen.>
It was the first time we had heard Park Joowoo's story so explicitly. He always explained his past, which he had already overcome, in a roundabout way to avoid startling us. With an unchangingly calm expression, Park Joowoo was fuming.
<So how hard must it be to live with a family that won't back down and just endures in life? Rather than fighting for a lifetime with someone who berates you, saying, 'You must get 100 points,' or 'You must get a good job'… it's better to just CRASH! into the guardrail once.>
I only understood why Park Joowoo expressed his displeasure so strongly after hearing his next words. He couldn't ignore the comment about academic problems being the biggest issue for Korean kids. He was thinking of Lee Cheonghyeon.
<I'm really lucky. It's a boring story, too trivial to be used as fertilizer for musical growth… but isn't this the kind of misfortune a child might experience.>
The host couldn't respond to the words filled with aggression. He was in a situation where he couldn't avoid criticism no matter what he said.
<Isn't that right?>
To Park Joowoo, the pain his younger brother figure suffered was no less than his own. He had watched over Lee Cheonghyeon's lonely times for a long while. How could he not be angry when a stranger belittled that sadness? Our main vocalist is the type of guy who would confront a professor or a trainer if he heard his friend got a lot of negative feedback.
And… maybe that includes me too.
It took a long time to shake off the people who had taken root in me and gnawed away at me. Someone who missed their lost family might have looked at my life and said, 'At least you have parents.'
However, Park Joowoo, despite longing so much for the warmth of a family, never judged my misfortune by his own standards. He thought about how long my suffering must have been. He wanted me to be free from them.
It is so difficult to look into another's pain without being buried in your own sorrow. It takes so much courage to deliver the message that your own problems were nothing, just so others shouldn't speak so carelessly.
Despite leaving with all the members' worries, Park Joowoo was stronger than anyone else in that room.
The panting beside me had quieted at some point. Lee Cheonghyeon's eyes were red. I silently ruffled his hair and gently pressed down on his head. Lee Cheonghyeon buried his face in the cushion he was holding and stayed still for a long time.