SS Chapter 20: The Chaotic Self-Produced Content Diary (2)

TL: FoodieMonster007

MISSION: The Age of Failure and Hardship was an office skit set in Yonggwang Electronics, a conglomerate from a parallel world.

spArk had previously played two roles. They were either wealthy executives' children who got jobs through connections and ate tteokbokki on company newsletters, or they were the crumbling Marketing Team 6.

A grand sound effect followed the intro, revealing the new set. It was not a chairman's office with floor-to-ceiling glass windows, nor was it a worn-out, lived-in office. Instead, a bright office appeared.

The key point was the department name, 'Entertainment Department', which was unheard of in a typical company. Its nameplate was adorned with ornate pink lace and decorated with beads.

『Kewpie: Our office is always so bright and nice-!』

Won Chaehee noticed a name she had never seen before in their office-themed content. The members' appearances in the opening were even more extravagant.

The chaos began with Lee Cheonghyeon, who appeared first. He wore a cropped jacket with tightly cinched, high-waisted corset pants. What man comes to work dressed like that? The gray color scheme did not make it okay.

Kang Kiyeon entered wearing a choker. Jeong Seongbin wore Y-shaped suspenders with his dress pants.

At Won Chaehee's company, no employee ever wore suspenders to work. Is Yonggwang Electronics actually a fashion company? Otherwise, her bewilderment would not be resolved. The question of why the company name ended with '~Electronics' would remain.

Park Joowoo was even more outrageous. His cute beret felt less like a deception and more like a provocation. Won Chaehee briefly imagined Assistant Manager Cheon wearing a beret to work. Assistant Manager Cheon had done nothing wrong, but the thought inexplicably annoyed her.

With his younger members dressed like this, Choi Jeho's outfit was predictable. The provocative fit of his shirt was overwhelming for an office worker. His dress shirt looked like it would burst. A simple decorative glasses chain added a generous dash of flavor to his visuals.

He's the conceptual office worker you see in idol self-produced content.

Her mind went blank seeing her favorite member wearing arm garters. The rimless glasses with a silver chain collar pin suited Choi Jeho's personal color perfectly but did not suit a working professional. He looked incomparably more polished than in the previous content where he wore 'ahjussi' socks.

Polished and shiny office workers might exist in the real world, but a refreshing colleague in a beret did not. With the 'healthy look' trend, some people worked out or ran before their shifts. Even they were busy taking protein supplements at the office, not sitting around in shiny ear cuffs.

The previous one was a bit too realistic…

Won Chaehee recalled the comments on that one-hour video. Department Head Kim Iwol's soul-crushing remarks and the employees' dead-eyed stares had reminded everyone of bad memories. It was so bad that a conspiracy theory circulated among some Sparklers that it was a carrot aimed at UtopiA's employees.

Perhaps that was why this new content was so bright and hopeful. Who knew the absence of the 'Viewer discretion advised for ages 25 and over' warning would be such a relief? Won Chaehee laughed dryly at the absurd situation.

『Judy: Kewpi. Did you always have this many figures on your desk…?』

『Kewpie: Was it obvious? I've been secretly adding more, how did you know?!』

The nicknames they used, supposedly to adopt an English name culture, were also something else. Half of them were not even English. The historical accuracy was excellent, right down to using honorifics despite their horizontal titles.

It felt like a sophisticated design meant to satirize hollow startups.

The Entertainment Department had ostensibly gathered to prepare a customer appreciation event. spArk held a heated discussion about what products to offer and what to prepare.

During this process, spArk generously showed off various suit moments. They fully utilized the advantages of a different suit style than the one from 『MISSION』.

A particular highlight was Choi Jeho moving unrelated luggage to expose the veins on his hands from various angles. He moved a thick file folder, which could have been placed anywhere, about eight times just to show off his perfect forearms.

『Topi: Judy, a headset would be prettier than wireless earphones.』

『Judy: I'm sorry. Was that too Gen Z of me…?』

While using the props, spArk's spirit of 'it's a sin not to be beautiful' would suddenly emerge, but…

『Topi: Don't skimp on the material costs! With the heart of properly repaying their support!』

『Yeoni: Yep.』

…they would remember the concept and return to it. As a result, Park Joowoo became the ultimate 'my way' employee, blatantly wearing a headset at work. Kang Kiyeon brought an armful of decorative boxes for just one shirt. Despite this, the T-shirt decorating proceeded smoothly.

For reference, 'Topi' was Kim Iwol, a name he said came from 'Octopi'. He chose a comedy route over a mainstream cute one, staying faithful to the 'Entertainment Department' setting.

Whenever Kim Iwol spoke, the camera would close up on a Fortune-Telling Octopus doll on his desk. The doll's expression could be changed to match his mood.

A conflict scene, essential for an office skit, also appeared. Lee Cheonghyeon insisted limited editions should be flashy, while Jeong Seongbin argued for practicality. They clashed strongly.

『Kewpie: Don't you know that with decorations, the more the merrier? If they wanted a plain T-shirt, they'd go to Dongdaemun, not apply for a Yonggwang Electronics event!』

『Bin: There are also consumers who buy wearable goods for practical use. We have to protect the social standing of our excellent customers!』

『Nana: …Isn't it weird to apply for a Yonggwang Electronics event just to get a T-shirt?』

Choi Jeho, who had changed his name to Nana of the 'Ba' family, asked hesitantly. The nickname alone made the team's center incredibly cute.

For the peace of the office, the two were separated. Lee Cheonghyeon went to the terrace and delicately swept his bangs up with a tired expression.

『Kewpie: Yeoni… do you have any water?』

『Yeoni: Here you go.』

Kang Kiyeon opened a plastic bottle that had a picture of soap bubbles on it. Lee Cheonghyeon, with a melancholic face, took a bubble wand from his jacket pocket.

Seeing Lee Cheonghyeon's awkward posture as he held the bottle, Won Chaehee was certain. These guys have never smoked a cigarette.

That must be why they could so confidently include such a scene. A lonely BGM played as soap bubbles scattered in the air, created by someone whose posture suggested he learned to smoke from dramas.

『Kewpie: Bin is too stubborn. We can't communicate. How are we supposed to come up with good ideas like this?』

『Yeoni: Are you sure you're only talking about today's issue? I can feel some old resentment.』

『Kewpie: I didn't see you that way, Yeoni, but you're a scary person. Trying to bury me like this…!』

Lee Cheonghyeon's face turned pale. The screen switched to Jeong Seongbin indoors, who repeatedly carved the character for 'patience' on a Post-it. As a fan who knew the real personalities of the strict Jeong Seongbin and the free-spirited Lee Cheonghyeon, Won Chaehee could not help but laugh.

『Kewpie: The bubbles taste bitter today.』

『Yeoni: Because it's soapy water.』

The two made a huge fuss, worrying the smell of soap would get on their clothes. A subtitle explained that they would be disqualified from the Entertainment Department if they did not smell fruity. No wonder fan sign reviews often said the venue smelled like a fruit store.

『Yeoni: Don't be so discouraged, Kewpi. I've prepared something for you.』

『Kewpie: What is it?』

Kang Kiyeon rummaged through his pants pocket and pulled out a USB. An adorable pudding-shaped keychain dangled from it.

『Yeoni: These are photos of 219 people's merchandise collections that can serve as proof that goods are for collecting. Show this to Bin and try to persuade him.』

『Kewpie: Yeoni…!』

Lee Cheonghyeon's voice filled with emotion. Then, the atmosphere instantly turned serious.

『Kewpie: But in our company, aren't we prohibited from using personal storage devices that can transfer data externally?』

spArk's self-produced content sometimes had strange, public service announcement-style subtitles. The phone number for the Ministry of Employment and Labor was a prime example.

Today, a notice urged viewers to cherish corporate information. No matter how they dressed it up, the core was always the same. Dumbfounded, Won Chaehee took a screenshot. She then posted a vivid, real-time review on social media, commenting on how absurd it was.

Even after the confrontation between Kewpi and Bin, the Entertainment Department remained extremely busy. The practicality faction, consisting of Choi Jeho, Jeong Seongbin, and Park Joowoo, sat facing the collectors' faction of Kim Iwol, Lee Cheonghyeon, and Kang Kiyeon. They began making their respective T-shirts.

『Kewpie: No… no! I can't express all of my affection with just the materials here!』

『Topi: It's the same for me. This is very troublesome. Can we procure materials from outside?』

Eventually, the eldest members went out to buy additional props for better results. A subtitle read 'Unexpected Situation', and the video captured the staff's urgent voices as they decided who would go.

『Kewpie: Nana, what did I ask you to buy?』

『Nana: Round felt and glittery tassels.』

『Kewpie: I said patches and sequins!』

The utterly unreliable errand boys, Choi Jeho and Kim Iwol, diligently raided a nearby craft supply store. After their emergency shopping trip, Kim Iwol swept the 'farmed' items into an eco-bag. Choi Jeho paid by card and put the receipt in the bag too.

『Nana: Why'd you buy so much?』

『Topi: It's all necessary.』

『Nana: If we make T-shirts twice, the company's going to go bankrupt.』

The maxed-out corporate card and receipt were safely delivered to the production team. The return of the eldest members was a turning point. The T-shirt decorating finished as quickly as the skit ripened.

Needless to say, the briefing time became a total mess. It was fine until Choi Jeho presented a surprisingly decent T-shirt.

The design was neat and unique. It featured the faces of a Fortune-Telling Octopus, a snake, a wolf, a fluffy mouse, an eagle, and a sharp-angled black panther drawn in a row on the front. A straight orange line decorated the sleeve.

『Topi: Is there a reason why only the mouse in the middle is particularly plump?』

『Nana: It's a Chinchilla.』

『Yeoni: Nana, you don't know what a Chinchilla looks like, do you.』

Still, everyone acknowledged the effort Choi Jeho put in, even hand-sewing a detail onto the sleeve.

Next, Park Joowoo revealed his T-shirt. Three dolls dangled from each shoulder, for a total of six.

『Topi: What was the intention behind the dolls on the shoulders?』

『Judy: I attached the mascots of Yonggwang Electronics to give it symbolism…』

『Kewpie: Excuse me, but did you pierce the shoulders with a hole punch?』

『Judy: No, with a screwdriver…』

Park Joowoo was not even embarrassed. The screwdriver in his hand glinted menacingly under the lights. He turned over the shirt, which had 'Friend' written largely on the front. A flame design as big as his own face appeared on the back. The master's work had its own unique meaning.

『Judy: We… had matching group T-shirts when we were on our overseas tour, right?』

『Bin: We did.』

『Judy: In the sense that our customers should also become one… I decorated it in a similar vein to our group T-shirts.』

So he's including us in the friendship T-shirt club. Thanks a lot, and this is truly absurd.

That was all Won Chaehee could think. She even had an ominous premonition that skipping an alumni reunion would have consequences.

She knew Park Joowoo was sincere, but the baffling Gungseo-style calligraphy was too neat for him to have written himself. Now she finally understood why Kim Iwol said it took him a long time to grasp the situation when he first received his father's T-shirt.

Having watched this far, Won Chaehee came to a quick conclusion. If this was the result from the practical use team, then not a single T-shirt would be wearable.

As Jeong Seongbin stood up, her hypothesis was confirmed beyond a doubt. A profound Hanja character filled the phone screen.