Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 98: Downgrade (1)
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TL: FoodieMonster007
For an idol group, merchandise planning was a core business as important as album production. The status of merch rose daily, with even albums taking the form of merchandise in "merch albums."
Naturally, the fandom's desire for collectible merch grew stronger. In a market where every possible item had already been released, planners wracked their brains to stand out.
They held meeting after meeting and conducted market research, desperate for an ingenious idea.
However, idols did not release merch just once a year. They released it for season's greetings, on their debut anniversary, with every album release, for every concert, sometimes for a commercial shoot, and other times for a variety show collaboration.
There was as much merch to produce as there were dates to celebrate.
Min Jukyung was lucky. Her company's idol group, spArk, had a member overflowing with ideas. Whenever the planning team thought, "Shouldn't we start preparing for ○○ now?" Kim Iwol would open the office door and boom a greeting before a project page was even created on Notion.
He would then ask the staff, "By any chance, what do you think of a concept like this?"
Sometimes, Kim Iwol showed up even when there was no work planned. Adept at grasping the latest trends, he would knock on the office door with new content in hand to avoid falling behind or to get ahead.
It was Kim Iwol, a man more intimidating than the CEO, whose eyes would sparkle as he asked for more work. That said it all.
Occasionally, Kim Iwol would bring in unscheduled work, not something that had to be done like album planning. Each time, Min Jukyung and the dedicated team would nod and listen to everything Kim Iwol had to say.
This was possible for three reasons. First, Kim Iwol's abilities had been acknowledged over many years.
Second, UA aimed to actively support whatever its artists wanted to do.
"We won a Grand Prize, shouldn't we have an event before our comeback?"
"That would be nice, but you guys have to prepare for your world tour."
"I'll make a draft beforehand so it won't take up much time!"
And third, Kim Iwol knew exactly how to ask to make the other person listen just a little bit more.
The documents Kim Iwol touched were generally perfect. His composition was flawless and his intentions were so clear that a single file eliminated the need for multiple meetings or questions.
He included references, items, schedules, and for more detailed plans, even the packaging box or the exact wording for the announcement. The image he wanted to realize was clear in his head, and he brilliantly translated it into words and pictures.
Anyone who saw it would think, We can probably get this done on schedule.
"It's still difficult. We don't have a lot of staff."
Of course, Min Jukyung was also an office worker struggling with her schedule. If things seemed genuinely tight, she would clearly point out the reality of the situation.
"The planning team got bigger during the reorganization. The people who handled the tour are moving to the concert planning team, so the work is separated."
But Kim Iwol knew far too much about things he should not have. With a valid reason and favorable circumstances, there was no way she could refuse.
Thanks to him, Min Jukyung once again found herself in charge of a new merchandise business proposal. It was an event titled "(Tentative) Hey guys, other fandoms are teasing us because we're the only ones without April Fools' merch," a play on a meme Min Jukyung had seen on social media, 'Teacher, the other kids are teasing us because our class is the only one without graduation certificates.'
Among the long sentences in the expected effects section, one stood out.
― When filming the planning meeting, one episode of self-produced content covering the merch preparation process can be secured (can be filmed by the members themselves).
This news would make the person in charge of the weekly self-produced content, who was on the verge of losing all their hair from brainstorming, shout for joy.
Min Jukyung closed her eyes and accepted her reality. She put the artificial tears Kim Iwol had recently handed out at the office into her dry eyes and began to draft the proposal for the CEO.
Just four days after I knocked on the office door with the proposal, Jukyung-nim delivered the good news that the CEO's approval had been granted. Thanks to Jukyung-nim's sacrifice, we could release April Fools' merch for our Sparklers.
We usually sold season's greetings at the end of the year and Nth-anniversary merch packages in February, so we tried to avoid releasing more merch at the beginning of the year. Even if we did not release merch, our fans would still buy our albums when they came out.
Thanks to all the agencies across the country constantly churning out new products, idol fans had far too much merch to buy. There were also fan club kits and other things, so we did not want to add to their financial burden, but then, I happened to see a certain post.
≫ I wish they'd release some shoddy merch
At first, I thought it was sarcasm. It was something you paid for, so of course the quality should be good. Who would want to get their hands on a shoddy design when buying already expensive idol merch?
That was what I thought.
However, a surprising demand for shoddy-looking merch existed. It was not just 'some' demand, it was a lot. A considerable group of people preferred so-called B-grade sensibility merch, with features like small, dotted eyes instead of sharp ones, crooked lines, and color combinations not commonly used these days.
In the past, UA only released weird merch… I only saw posts cursing them out and telling them to release pretty merch, so I didn't know this kind of demand existed.
How could anyone ask a company that could not even produce a decent keyring to make shoddy merch? Who knew what would come out?
Crying out for even slightly prettier merch must have been the best they could do.
Thinking of the Sparklers from that era did not feel good. I wanted to do something for them, but my conviction that official merch had to be well-made kept weighing on my mind.
After much thought, I found an excuse. April Fools' Day. A day when a little mischief is forgiven.
I used this day to create a self-justifying excuse to release shabby merch for one day only.
After abandoning my conscience, everything went smoothly. I roughly explained the gist to the spArk guys, made them aware that they had no right to refuse, quickly wrote up a proposal, and handed it to Jukyung-nim.
I also booked a meeting room for the weekend, a time when we had no schedule and the company staff would not be around.
Me [★§※ I present to you an amazing opportunity to legally mess with your colleagues ※§★ For one day only!! A GOLD/EN/OP/POR/TU/NI/TY to lovingly turn your precious same-aged friend and member into a shoddy doll ≪If our member became a ○○?≫ ☎ Right now ☎ come up with your ideas]
[Deadline: This Saturday (Meeting and self-produced content filming scheduled for Sunday)
※ Only the above message will be cut and shown in the self-produced content, so sending this part separately]
[【Reference】 This is merch for fun, so it shouldn't be too expensive. Unlike previous merch, we're going to simplify the production process. We're not adding storage functions like zippers on a pouch. It'll be purely a plush doll keyring under 8cm, so focus on simple and cute designs that capture your character's traits well]
Cutie Pretty Visual Lee Cheonghyeon [This is so scary]
[Kiyeon, look forward to it~]
Super Cute Kang Kiyeon [This is so scary…]
Whether the youngest ones were trembling in fear or not, I did not care. I spent my time thinking about what kind of doll to turn Choi Jeho into.
"What do you want to be?"
Just when I thought he was trying to think for himself, Choi Jeho could not last ten minutes before asking me.
"You're the one who has to think about it so we can film, aren't you?"
"You're really okay with anything?"
He was asking if it was okay even if I did not like the idea he came up with. I told him I was really fine with whatever.
Choi Jeho is a celebrity too. He wouldn't compare me to something completely unpleasant, would he? The worst it could be is probably a steamed Fortune-Telling Octopus.
I also turned on my phone to search for an effective comparison. When I went into the spArk-Choi Jeho folder in my gallery, a stream of images I had downloaded that suited Choi Jeho appeared. (I have a folder for each member.)
"No matter how I look, there's nothing cute…!"
There were so many photos and reference materials, but nothing was helpful. Jeong Seongbin's and Lee Cheonghyeon's folders practically sparkled the moment I opened them.
On the other hand, Choi Jeho's and Kang Kiyeon's folders, especially Choi Jeho's, looked like moss could start growing in them at any moment. In other words, they were completely devoid of light.
I should have suggested we draw randomly instead of pairing up by age!
Because I found him subtly awkward, we had always used drawings or split the groups for paired activities, but now, the fans were clamoring to see the oldest members together.
Jeong Seongbin and Park Joowoo at least shared the same position, but the oldest and youngest members had different positions and were rarely paired up. My attempt to provide some content for the same-aged pairs came back to me like a boomerang.
I grew tired after looking at nothing but pictures of giant trees. I went out to the living room to clear my head and spotted the back of Jeong Seongbin's head as he stared at the display case.
"What are you doing?"
"I was wondering what kind of doll to make for Joowoo. I thought about a microphone, but that seems too obvious… so I came out to think about it."
"How about focusing on symbolic items? There are a lot of things that come to mind when you think of Joowoo."
"…Tofu?"
"It would be cute if you made it into a doll with sesame seed eyes. While you're at it, can you make it sundubu?"
"If I do that, won't people confuse it with a radish with its stem plucked off?" Jeong Seongbin chuckled.
Even that short conversation was fruitful. I realized that comparing someone to food makes the subject a little cuter.
Just as the tall and sturdy Park Joowoo could become adorable as a tofu doll, Choi Jeho could also be shaped into the shoddy and cute keyring I was aiming for, if I handled him just right.
I immediately embarked on a grand quest to find a food that suited Choi Jeho. The screen scrolled down faster and faster.