Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 99: Downgrade (2)
Day/Night Mode:
Change Font Size:
TL: FoodieMonster007
The Choi Jeho plushie project progressed very slowly. Unfortunately, the foods that came to mind for Choi Jeho had no cute aspects.
Barley rice is delicious, but how could I turn that into a doll? I also considered stew, but I gave up when I hit the wall of reality. The unit price increased in real-time as I tried to add details.
If only the model had been Lee Cheonghyeon, I would have created plans A up to F and held a vote by myself. Commendably, Lee Cheonghyeon was a talent optimized for merchandising.
He liked foods that were simple yet cute, like a fried egg, or popular and expressible in a single color, like chicken. If I had been in charge of Lee Cheonghyeon's merch, I would have created about nine more egos for myself.
After a difficult battle over which one to send to the finals, I would have decided on the final plan. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
It went without saying, but I could not prepare it without sincerity. The subject was spArk's center, a guy whose nickname was Center Emperor.
What good would come from tarnishing the team's face? It would just pour oil on the fire of the discord rumors between Kim Iwol and Choi Jeho.
"Please make it cute but ugly. It should be shabby, but the finishing must be sturdy. It should be humble but have dignity. Even if its appearance is simple, please make its facial features distinct."
It had been a while since I had to use this kind of magic spell.
The other guys struggled just as much as I did. For a while, papers covered in drawings of various animals, plants, and objects lay scattered around the dorm.
They all had good personalities and only praised their colleagues, but they were at a loss when told to make them into shabby, squashed rice cakes.
Kang Kiyeon, in particular, seemed deeply troubled. His complexion had been bad ever since the notice to design his friend's merch was posted. He even kept glancing at me, though I had not said a word.
"What if my choice doesn't receive a passing grade?" the guy asked gloomily. He even seemed to tremble with fear.
"Why're you talking as if I'm the judge?"
"There isn't much of a difference, is there?"
The remark made me wonder what my image had become in this guy's mind.
Kang Kiyeon, no matter how shabbily you make Lee Cheonghyeon, wouldn't it be better than Choi Jeho, who I suspect might turn a person into something like a hollow bread? Since Jeong Seongbin and Park Joowoo are good friends, they'll surely do a good job. I wasn't worried about anyone except for the Choi Jeho I would ruin and the me that Choi Jeho would ruin.
Should I resort to the forbidden material…?
One path abandoned honor to gain results. The other path protected honor even with fewer results. Choi Jeho's imperial authority was fated to change depending on which of the two I chose.
Like a coward, I decided to achieve results by sacrificing Choi Jeho's honor instead.
On the day of the meeting, we gathered in the empty company building. Each of us held a sheet of A4 paper with a drawing on it.
For a meeting about turning members into low-cost merchandise, the environment was extravagantly good.
Since it was a video for an April Fools' special, we also wore outfits opposite to our personal casual styles for the event. To match the concept, I was covered from neck to toe in white and ivory.
Most of the white clothes I owned were shirts, and since I did not want to wear the same type, I swallowed my tears and bought a white sweatshirt.
Choi Jeho wore a suit. Jeong Seongbin was in a gorpcore look. Park Joowoo wore a slim-fit short-sleeved tee, and Kang Kiyeon was in business casual.
Lee Cheonghyeon, whose casual style was colorful and who was good at color matching, became a child of darkness in an all-black fashion.
There is a saying that clothes make the man. The clothes they did not wear often made them feel awkward whenever they tried to act or pose as they usually would.
It was already the third time Kang Kiyeon had tried to roll up his sleeves before giving up.
Choi Jeho looked like he was about to die from stuffiness. He kept fiddling with the knot of his neatly tightened tie, as if it were uncomfortable. Park Joowoo's situation was similar. He could not keep his hands off his forearms, which were exposed below the tight-fitting sleeves.
Jeong Seongbin and Lee Cheonghyeon exuded a strange aura. Jeong Seongbin sat perfectly upright in his super casual style, while Lee Cheonghyeon smiled brightly while pitch black from head to toe as if he were about to bury someone.
Both looked so strange they would not be outdone anywhere. Lee Cheonghyeon had layered the team bracelet with a bracelet from a brand he was modeling for. Since both were made of white gold, the already cold-looking guy evolved into a wealthy, cold handsome man.
They were faces I saw every day, yet they felt unfamiliar just because their outfits had changed. When would I ever see Choi Jeho in a three-piece suit? He was a man burdened with the destiny of an idol who had to wear flashy stage outfits even when receiving awards at the end of the year.
The guys, too, had probably never seen me dressed like a soft-serve cone from a hamburger franchise.
"Everyone's fashion is amazing!" Lee Cheonghyeon said with a laugh.
The other five nodded their heads at the same time. The timing was so perfect it would not have been strange to suspect they had coordinated it. It seemed the other guys were thinking something similar.
"If you just look at the screen without knowing the reason, it looks like only Iwol-hyung and Jeho-hyung will survive," Kang Kiyeon commented.
"Why leave out Joowoo? Look how great his physique looks right now!" I stepped up to refute him.
The muscle-fit, gym-wear-style t-shirt, the kind athletes might wear for weight training, was excellent at emphasizing his shoulder blades and lines. It was a huge transformation for Park Joowoo, who used to prefer soft materials and loose sizes.
However, a lot of care was taken so that he did not look too much like someone on an outing to the gym.
"Cheonghyeon looks cool too," Jeong Seongbin complimented.
"I think I got points deducted because it doesn't match my personal color," Lee Cheonghyeon replied humbly.
I was also on the side that believed flashy and colorful shades suited the guy, so I agreed with Lee Cheonghyeon's cool-headed self-analysis.
After explaining the meeting's purpose for the intro and recording up to the intended direction for the merch, we moved on to the main topic.
The microphone passed from person to person in seating order. As the first presenter, Lee Cheonghyeon unfolded his paper.
An animal with what was presumed to be fur drooping downwards lay on the floor. It was light brown and about the size of a palm. It looked so exhausted that it seemed on the verge of melting. The tattered headband it wore was an impressive detail.
"Is it a leopard?" Choi Jeho asked.
"It's a baby lion. Haven't you seen the video on Metube? It's really cute! And its eyes are triangular, like Kang-geon's."
"But why is it so tired?"
The depiction was so perfect that Choi Jeho could recognize its tired state.
Lee Cheonghyeon added an explanation. "The concept is that it practiced too much. It's a perfect fit for its owner, right?"
No wonder the kid looked so grimy. Now that he said it, its pose was identical to Kang Kiyeon's when he would collapse on the floor during breaks.
I gave it a high score for not just being shabby, but also for properly capturing a member's habit.
The next batter was Jeong Seongbin. The guy first showed his drawing to the members across from him.
Park Joowoo's and Kang Kiyeon's expressions changed at the same time. Their faces were those of people trying to hold back laughter with all their might. Lee Cheonghyeon, sitting to Jeong Seongbin's right, also made the same face after belatedly seeing the paper.
Only I, sitting on the left, was late to grasp the situation. On the white paper I saw last, a brown anchovy was drawn. Its eyes were already in the shape of an X, as if it had met a miserable end.
"Why is this Joowoo…?"
As I asked, being the only one who did not understand, I realized a beat too late why the fish was so dried up and blackened.
"Don't tell me it's smoked?"
I could not believe that Jeong Seongbin, one of the few normal people in spArk, had done such an outrageous thing. However, the meticulously colored black ash and the sharp stick visible in front of and behind the fish kept amplifying my anxiety.
What kind of grilled fish drawing had he made so diligently? It was a masterpiece the likes of which would never be seen again in the life of Jeong Seongbin, whose drawing skills could not be called good even as an empty compliment.
"That's right!" Jeong Seongbin smiled brightly.
At that moment, I had realized that using food increased cuteness. It was clear this guy had gained the same knowledge.
But why on earth did he find that cuteness in a smoked fish burning to a crisp? He could have chosen an apple mango, why did it have to be…
And so, Park Joowoo became a smoked grilled fish that would smell delicious. It was sad, but I had no right to lecture Jeong Seongbin.
Because…
"What is that?"
"Hyung, did you finally throw away your pride?"
…Because I had turned the team's face into a banana leaf. Solely to give Sparkler a laugh, I threw away my pride and Choi Jeho's dignity. If one could score points for audacity, my side would have a landslide victory.
Were they surprised by the bold choice? Choi Jeho and Lee Cheonghyeon reacted at the exact same time.
I went through severe internal conflict to get to this point. Getting ideas from food was fine, but 'cute food' was scarce, and it did not really suit Choi Jeho either.
The only small food item I remembered that was related to Choi Jeho was an unshelled walnut, and even that was a memory from the past.
Then, a banana came to mind. Yellow, delicious… major enough to be a basic emoji… I did not know any other advantages, but anyway, this was the only thing that made me think, This is it!
So I expanded my thoughts centered on the banana. Strictly speaking, it was the banana 'leaf' that launched Choi Jeho to variety show stardom, so I ultimately settled on that.
It was the cheat key of the deserted island that could be used for anything. A useful, all-purpose item that could be a blanket, a mat, a wrap for grilling bananas during the day, and a mosquito net to cover one's face at night.
It was the best output produced by spArk on the deserted island.
After deciding on the material, I diligently drew every single leaf vein so that everyone could recognize this great existence at a glance. I colored it the most vibrant green to make it look pretty.
With the hope that the person who bought the keychain would smoothly solve any problems they faced, I got Choi Jeho's handwriting for the word 'Solution' and copied it exactly. I referenced trendy things like lucky charm stickers.
Deluding myself that turning from a log into a leaf was a considerable step up in cuteness… I completed the drawing with a burning heart.
"How could you make a decision like this?" Choi Jeho asked.
There was only one thing the grief-stricken Mr. Kim Iwol could say. "I'm playing the prank that costs me the least."
The corner of my eye twitched as I tried to force my mouth's corners up. Ah, life truly was a comedy when seen from a distance and a tragedy when seen up close.