Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols
SS Chapter 100: Downgrade (3)
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TL: FoodieMonster007
Choi Jeho was once the emperor and pride of the five-member spArk, and now the center and face of the six-member spArk.
All that splendid glory faded to the background. The ill-fated monarch, destined to become a banana leaf on April 1st, offered a half-hearted round of applause.
Since today was the last day Choi Jeho would be 'normal', we all picked up the mounted cams from the table to record some extreme close-ups of him.
Even if you have to go, I hope you remember my heart, which thought of you at least as much as an ant's antenna.
"This makes me wonder what Jeho-hyung would have made for Iwol-hyung."
Jeong Seongbin uttered a terrifying statement.
My whole body trembled like an aspen leaf.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Choi Jeho flipped over the drawing he had placed facedown. He did not even give a countdown.
The drawing depicted a slime-shaped creature with a small ear sprouting from each side. He must have rubbed the crayon so hard that the solid, gapless orange color was overwhelming.
"An alien…?" Park Joowoo muttered.
If someone had to draw the word 'unpleasantness', there could be nothing more fitting than that blob.
"I know what that is," Lee Cheonghyeon shouted from amidst the murmuring members. "It's a Dumbo Fortune-Telling Octopus!"
Not agar… what?
Surprisingly, Dumbo Fortune-Telling Octopus was the correct answer. When Choi Jeho nodded, the rest of us, excluding Lee Cheonghyeon, were left wondering what a Dumbo Fortune-Telling Octopus even was.
How could a Fortune-Telling Octopus have a name that sounds like a pronunciation test?
After a quick search, Lee Cheonghyeon held up his phone to show us. The screen filled with pictures of a fist-sized, orange creature. Its legs were too short for a Fortune-Telling Octopus, but the search term was indeed 'Dumbo Fortune-Telling Octopus'.
"Does a Fortune-Telling Octopus like this really exist?" Kang Kiyeon seemed genuinely surprised.
The vivid orange color was identical to the drawing. The only difference was that Choi Jeho's version of the Fortune-Telling Octopus looked extremely malicious, unlike the real thing. Its eyes were triangular.
"Why does this one look so fierce?"
The great artist Choi Jeho answered the foolish question with a foolish counter-question. "Didn't you say it had to capture the person's characteristics well?"
I did not know whether to be grateful that I joined spArk after being told I did not have a 'water dumpling face', or to be sad about becoming a nasty-looking Fortune-Telling Octopus.
Just like that, my April Fools' keyring was decided.
The next person, Park Joowoo, took out his drawing of a notebook. It certainly captured Jeong Seongbin's personality, but it was a bit disappointing that it was such an easily associated object. Besides, the notebook had already had its retirement ceremony.
"It would be nice to have a powerful punch like the 'exhausted wildcat' or the 'smoked fish'. How can we add a special point to this?"
"Ah, I thought of something…" Park Joowoo pointed to a gray line drawn on the side of the notebook.
I thought it was just a visual representation of many sheets of paper stacked together, but it turned out to have a meaning.
"It's not quite adding a zipper… but I've seen plush keyrings that can be opened in the middle."
"Like a wrist cushion or a pocket?"
Park Joowoo nodded at Lee Cheonghyeon's question. He tore off a small corner of the paper and drew three X's in a row.
"You write the name of the person who angered you and slip it inside. Then you press the cushion with your fingers… until your anger subsides…"
It was not a keyring, but a squishy for releasing anger. The way he gently pressed the paper with his two thumbs was strangely menacing.
The main vocalists were a terrifying pair.
"Could something like this cause a personality controversy…?" Jeong Seongbin asked cautiously. His face showed concern that a situation like 'Idol Group Releases Cursed Keyring as Official Merch… Igniting Controversy' might occur.
"Even though I wrapped it in cotton so it wouldn't look cruel…?" Park Joowoo's expression also grew serious.
The fact that he even worried about it looking cruel conveyed the idol mindset. When I said that everyone would probably find it amusing, the two of them finally smiled in relief.
The grand finale was left to Kang Kiyeon. He took a deep breath. Anyone watching would have thought he was about to present a major project that would decide a company's fate.
Well, making merch based on the team's visual member is a heavy responsibility.
"Can I explain it first?"
"Doesn't starting with an excuse mean you're not confident in your work?" Lee Cheonghyeon teased cheerfully.
I saw Kang Kiyeon's fists tremble.
"Lee Cheonghyeon has a lot of nicknames related to shiny things or jewels, right? So I wanted to try something a little different. Something Lee Cheonghyeon likes, with a cute shape and a special meaning…"
Kang Kiyeon slowly unfolded the paper he had folded in half. A drawing of a jellyfish with a round body and short legs appeared. A four-leaf clover pattern decorated its round, hemispherical bell.
"It's a moon jellyfish."
"Awesome!" Lee Cheonghyeon covered his mouth with both hands.
It looked completely different from the jellyfish mobile I received. The one I got was some kind of monstrous creature. His was adorable and cute.
"It's a sea creature that Lee Cheonghyeon likes, and its appearance… as you can see, it's cute."
"I admit it…" Park Joowoo, who sat next to Kang Kiyeon, nodded.
"Shouldn't it have a pathetic side too?" Choi Jeho objected.
Is that why you made me into such a venomous-looking Fortune-Telling Octopus?
"Lee Cheonghyeon has long legs, but he became a short-legged jellyfish. Doesn't that make it pathetic?"
His comment overflowed with affection for his friend. Kang Kiyeon seemed to feel guilty for shortening his two-meter-legged friend's legs to two centimeters.
It was an attitude that I, who turned a member of the same age into a leaf, and Choi Jeho, who made me a pebble-sized Fortune-Telling Octopus, should learn from.
"I think Cheonghyeon is, um… someone who brings good luck to those around him. The reason I became an idol is because someone around me helped me form good connections, and just like how our team debuted with a great song and received a lot of love. Those strengths aren't visible to the eye, so I wanted the fans to know about them, even if it's through this… so I chose this one!"
After finishing his presentation, Kang Kiyeon stretched out his arms and held the drawing up to the camera lens.
Lee Cheonghyeon pretended to wipe away tears and said he was touched. His actions were playful, but his words seemed sincere.
With that, the idea presentation for the member keyring project ended. Three of the members became sea creatures, while the rest became plants, animals, and a cursed notebook, but it all had a strong April Fools' feel.
All that was left was to wait for the fans' reactions with a mix of worry and anticipation.
≫ We're getting merch?
The info went up. The promotional post for spArk's April Fools' merch appeared a week ago. Instead of detailed photos and product specs, the post only included a large poster with a grayed-out silhouette and a question mark.
Idol fans hated posts with no information. Companies often used this method to open pre-orders for albums and merch that were not even ready yet.
≫ I was about to say, what are we supposed to base our purchase on if it's all question marks;;
Seeing that it'll be revealed with the sales link on April 1st, it looks like they're doing something for April Fools'. They said there's no quantity limit because they'll do a pre-order and release more stock later.
└ Where does it say it'll be revealed on April 1st? Am I the only one who can't find it…?
└ Ah, it's at the bottom hahaha, my bad
If it were not for that one line in the notice, spArk would have been flamed too. I had seen many cases where groups were universally criticized for posting nothing but an empty introduction page and a limited-time purchase link.
An event meant to be fun should not create a hostile atmosphere in the fandom.
≫ Announcing an April Fools' event in advance means something big is coming, right?
I'm getting my hopes up?
The side effect was rising expectations. We, who had prepared small, wrinkly keyrings, secretly broke out in a cold sweat.
We just wanted a small surprise that would not burden the wallets of our student fans, but what if it was seen as an ominous sign of bad management? Just as I started to regret this whole thing, the company released the identity of the keyrings and the self-produced content simultaneously.
≫ What is this hahaha
└ I came down to the comments saying this exact thing hahaha
≫ Ah XX why is only Kang Kiyeon's plush so fluffy hahahahaha
He's the only one covered in fur hahaha sob
└ You could even braid its hair with all that fur
└ That's too much hahahaha
≫ I was afraid I'd pop the plush while doing my name-acupressure-curse, so I bought three of Seongbin's cursed keyrings!!
└ How did the official merch's nickname become 'Seongbin's cursed keyring'
└ It's a must-have for the cultured office worker b
≫ Cheonghyeon on BubblePop, happy that his merch came out as a jellyfish
He likes it so much he said he's going to buy one too sob, but all your bags are designer brands… you're going to hang it on one of those…?
└ He could probably buy 100 keyrings for the price of that bag
└ Being an ambassador is a scary thing
≫ Kim Iwol looks so f*cking distraught ever since the #FF6600 Fortune-Telling Octopus appeared
He's not the type to act like this in front of the camera hahaha
└ Seriously, what kind of Fortune-Telling Octopus is that? I've never seen one in my life
└ Maybe because it was drawn with crayons, it looks the most pathetic out of all six drawings sob
└ Iwol-ah, I'm sorry, I bought your keyring
└ Compared to the Fortune-Telling Octopus that the Sparklers bring, this one is cute
└ hahaha Turns out he did his best
≫ Joowoo's fans' closets are either Park Joowoo white or Rok Juwoo black, but neither outfit goes with the smoked fish
so the funniest part is that they're all agonizing over it. Actually, it's not funny. Guys, would a smoked fish keyring look good on a Mini backpack?? Serious replies only please
└ You think?
└ sob
Perhaps it was because they already had most of the usual merch. Fortunately, there were no reactions like, 'Instead of bringing this crap, give us ○○!'. The fans also seemed to appreciate that the keyrings were made from our own drawings.
It seemed like everyone was having a fun April Fools' Day and moving on, but then things changed.
≫ At first, Sparklers were posting proof shots of their finished assignments with the Resolution banana leaf
But then they started just placing the Resolution banana leaf and taking pictures even when nothing was resolved. It's so obvious
└ Ah, how did you know
└ Well, we created a 'resolved' atmosphere, didn't we?
≫ Jeho-clutchers appearing, using a cutout of the Resolution keyring instead of mosaics or stickers
└ Sir, just sticking a banana leaf on it doesn't solve everything
└ Fans who cover their faces with pictures of the banana leaf keyring just because their idol put a banana leaf on his face actually exist
└ Choi Jeho, you're the one who made these perfectly normal unnies like this
└ Isn't this Kim Iwol's fault?
≫ I brought the Resolution keyring to the baseball game and we had a comeback victory, so I brought it again today
Please… let us win today too
└ OP, did you win?!?!?!
└ We won~~-!!!!!! sob Thank you, all-purpose Resolution keyring~-!!!!!
└ We need to add the Resolution keyring to the list of must-haves for watching games live
≫ No, the Resolution banana leaf keyring may look like this, but if you put it in the arms of a cotton doll wearing a straw hat and a marine look
it's so cute sob (Photo)
The material is similar to a cotton doll and the quality is good, so it looks great in photos if you take it to the beach. Highly recommend
└ Friend, can I still buy this? sob
└ Yeah, but they're only selling it until the day before next year's April Fools', so you have to buy it before then!
└ That's pretty generous
└ hahahahahahaha
The problematic banana leaf plush keyring took on various roles, from a to-do list completion stamp to a mosaic sticker, a symbol of a victory fairy, and a doll decoration item, recording tremendous sales.
It was a joyous event for everyone except for me, who was watching the fall of his imperial authority.